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A jam submission

Elated SorrowView game page

A girls love kinetic novel about two lonely women who meet by chance.
Submitted by Foxpancakes — 1 day, 11 hours before the deadline
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Elated Sorrow's itch.io page

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Comments

(+1)

your best one so far. is there a reason why comments look like this here? if i go to the main page there are no comments and i can't comment

Developer

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I think I put the most effort into this one out of all of the ones I wrote so I'm glad you think so. :)

I turned off the comment section on the main page because I don't have time to moderate it. Sometimes people will post spam in the comments. 

Deleted 84 days ago
Submitted (2 edits) (+1)

This was a lovely character piece! Though it felt a little slow at times, overall you definitely kept my interst with details in the dialog. The story had a very grounded, real feeling to it too... I especially liked when Max tried to get Lyra into animal crossing.

Also, I found it really interesting how Max and Lyra are both lonely and struggling with their passions/professions, but express it in such different ways. They truly are perfect for each other and have wonderful chemistry <3 

The only small thing I'd suggest is to be on the lookout for Max describing someting about Lyra using the specific phrases "cute or "heart a flutter" . I noticed this was repeated quite a few times throughout, to the point where it started to feel repetitive and flat. Max is extremely observant from what I encountered, so I'm sure she'd pick up on more details about Lyra than just her overall "cuteness" :) I'm sure swapping out the cute descriptive with some specific details that Max notices in each of these encounters will bring the story and relationship to a whole new level.

Really well done with this project! Keep up the good work!
-Sasha

Developer

Hello! Thanks so much for playing and leaving some feedback. I'm really glad you enjoyed the story and the characters overall. <3

Thanks for the suggestion. I was sleep-deprived when I posted and didn't read over the whole thing...so I will need to go back at some point and fix that. Thanks for pointing it out!

Submitted(+1)

No problem! Glad to help! :D 

Also haha FEEL with writing sleep deprived. Sometimes you wake up the next morning and are like... when did I write that? But at the same time, night time is the best time for writing! :D Strongest creativity under the stars.

-Sasha