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Really interesting game. I included it in my Summer Novel Festival compilation video if you would like to have a look :) https://youtu.be/wFKdWgvTGJk
Thanks for the comment Norbez! I appreciate your thoughts on the presentation of the narrative. Once I get the writing to a finished state I plan to implement these ideas. I totally agree that I should break it up a bit to fit better on the screen. I viewed it on mobile today and it was a mess, lol. I'll check out your works when I get a chance. It would be great to get more involved in the community.
I like this so far. Good writing and good pacing. My main complaint is how many times you must scroll up and down to read the text. Perhaps pace it in such a way so it doesn't run off the page? And consider expanding from the defaults of this Twine theme. Use of color (on the text or for different backgrounds) and different fonts could really help the RPG-ness of this game. But the writing, the most important part, is already well done, and if you want to focus on only that, it's 100% understandble. :)
(I'm not an entrant in this Festival, but I am an IF creator. I'm entering IF Comp & A Game By Its Cover.)