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TIGHT NIT: A Crustmas Carol's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Writing | #13 | 2.898 | 3.286 |
| Audio | #17 | 1.008 | 1.143 |
| Visuals | #17 | 1.134 | 1.286 |
| Mechanics | #17 | 1.638 | 1.857 |
| Overall | #17 | 1.669 | 1.893 |
Ranked from 8 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous and shown in a random order.
- It's a fun pun, which as a dad I appreciate. The world of nits and Hairny's semi-dickensian dilemma are entertaining. I'd like to see something deeper as it comes to the unfinished climax. The choices are some times reversed by the story (like the enforced billiard balls) which works against player agency. Well done on your first game :)
- I liked how clearly this game focused on storytelling and player choice - felt like a great fit for this jam! I also appreciated that, even though you ran out of time, you still let me play through the skeleton of what you had plotted out. That said, by the end of the game, I was still left confused about what the story was that you wanted to tell. It felt a lot like you'd come up with an interesting premise (the player trying to win their love's affection at Crustmas) but didn't really have a satisfying end of the story in mind. The result was that the whole thing felt quite meandering, and sometimes frustrating for the player. A lesson to learn here is that you should try to steer clear of offering players choices that you don't intend to deliver on. Why was I given the option to pick the flowers if all I could buy were the billiard balls? Even if the flowers had ended in disaster, it would have felt better than making a choice and then being told I actually hadn't made that choice. There were some good turns of phrase in the writing. At other times, I felt quite confused about the world and it's characters. My other main note would be that the writing didn't inspire much affection for Hairny's love interest. I wasn't sure why he liked her, or as the player, why I should be fighting to win her over. Congrats though on what you managed to achieve over the course of the jam, and hope it'll be a good stepping stoned towards your next game!
Student Prize
n/a (does this count if I'm a student of life?)
First Game
It's-a me! First-time-io!
Strangers in the Night Prize
n/a (does this count if I don't know myself?)
Best Solo Game
It's-a me! Solo-io!
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Comments
First of all, love the pun. Second of all, the setting and words you choose are hilarious, I found myself laughing out loud a couple times. "Her presence excited him, as did the way her spiracles heaved during their dinners together. It was Crustmas and the dander fell in delicate white sheets," is something I never thought I'd read.
I'd love to see this finished! Good job on a first time and solo jam :D I wish you'd found an artist to help out, I feel like images of the scenes would have added a lot.
Apart from using ink, I really struggled to see how the story relates to the theme. Maybe I just didn't understand it? Would love to see this fleshed out with some graphics and music. Consider doing an updated version once the jam is over!
It was a good attempt to use Ink. There were moments where I was confused on why certain things were happening, but your writing itself add a small amount of intrigue because of how you word certain sentences, but this also gets a bit distracting when trying to understand the character and what they are trying to do.
I think you have some meaningful choices, which I think are important in branched narratives, so well done with that! It does need a bit of work, but I can see the base of the story in this.
Overall, this is really good. Your writing is clever, but not distractingly so (most of the time). There's some nice wit throughout, and it makes the piece entertaining and light-hearted. This is a tough thing to balance with text-based interaction though, because it can very quickly get to a stage where it starts to drag. I don't think you hit that stage yet, but it still feels like it's missing a strong hook in the intro.
I think your use of interaction is also generally very good, and you have given really nice 'affective' decisions, which are what I believe all games should offer, rather than widely branching narratives. There's a little too much 'page turning' - which is not all bad, but there could just be less, or more meaningful ways to integrate it.
Overall, I dig it. It's a fun little short story, but probably needs a real zinger of an ending to close it off.
I see the skeleton of a story. But I got lost trying to understand the character choices and couldn't see the connection to the theme. Great effort for your first game!