You have a great talent when it comes to making creepy characters, this one is beautiful example.
I honestly have nothing bad to say, you did a great job. The story is really interesting, it is a bit weird that we have to go through trial and error in the choices, since there was nothing that talked about Mel and what she did or study before.
The audio is bit low, both for Mel and the music (which is not really a big problem, since you're trying to focus more on the story and not in the mood or the visuals), but it didn't ruin the experience, but it was hard to listen to her in some parts haha.
I was 100% true on what I said in the beginning, this art-style is fricking beautiful for horror VNs, so I really hope you can try doing some horror stories in the future! Thanks and good luck!