Ok this is going to be a long one. However, this is probably my first serious topic over here.
For context, this is my original post: https://itch.io/jam/mini-jam-92-death/topic/1726516/have-fun-13#post-4821026
I really wanted to post this earlier but just now I decided to do it. I'm pretty coward for delaying it for so long, I really had to write this a lot earlier. By the way, PremPrem; I apologize for you having to read my post. I don't know what was I thinking when I wrote it.
Hi. I'm MissingWilliam. The guy whose idea was to create a game about a murderous suicidal guy.
As time went by, I was developing my idea, the plot, the characters. It seemed to be working alright. However, by the end of the 2nd day, my project was nowhere as close as finished.
As I was stressed, wondering what to do next, I started re-reading my post to calm down. I gotta say, the way I expressed my idea seemed to me quite senseless. I was just excited so much about participating in my second jam and about the idea I just had, I forgot. Suicide is a serious topic.
The way I focused it on my thread, while I was trying so hard not to seem offensive, the subtile jokes I made on it actually maked it seem like I was making fun of that subject, which I totally tried not to. If someone in this MiniJam has lost a loved one, or ever had some thoughts about suicide, I'm really sorry. I didn't really wanted to make fun of that. I thought that I could be funny by not making directly fun of the suicide subject, but after reading it again, my post is hardly funny and I personally think that if I would've seen it written by some other guy here, I would've thought it was some sort of senseless jerk.
What I was trying to make was a game about suicide that would actually explore the topic and make other people realise that's not the answer for problems, and that there are other ways to solve it. However, the way I focused it, about the protagonist being a murderous suicide, really wasn't being protrayed the way I wanted to. I think I pretty much stereotyped (that word's actually quite soft for what I did) why suicide people kill themselves "they are mad". This is really an a-hole message from my person, and really wasn't what I was trying to communicate. I was just trying to tell a serious story about handling suicide while fitting in the jam's theme and really actually messed it all up.
I promise I'm better than this, I'm really no one to actually be speaking of suicide at all, and shouldn't be making fun of it, not even the lightest of its elements. I sometimes try so hard to be funny and make friends I just frick it all writing and saying things I shouldn't even consider to say.
For the last instance, as I said my game is nowhere as close as finished. I barely made the first enemy work. If I wanted to submit in time (or even late), that wouldn't be the game I wanted to make. It would just be a poorly made game about suicide made by a guy that doesn't know a thing about suicide. I would hate it if someone made a game about a serious topic and the game itself wasn't taken with all the seriousness that it should. If probably won't continue working on it because the realization of how shitty my message was and how poorly made the game was, just made me think. I'm a newbie on this. I don't have the experience needed to make a decent game about a serious topic. Last time I did, I actually felt that the product was very bad, and totally not something I would wanted to read if I had being through that (it's not as serious as suicide, but still pretty serious). I just stereotyped everything and at this point I'm even wondering if I'm really that decent to even think about writing or making games about topics that could hurt people and that I know NOTHING at all.
This post is a rendition from my part, and an apology to everyone that read my original post. I promise I won't make that shit again, and that if I do, I will properly apologize. I really didn't want my words to be taken the way they actually sounded like. I'm not like that and as I said, I guess I was just trying to be funny as I was excited on my 2nd game jam, but instead just messed it all up.
All development from my game is cancelled, at least until I actually get the experience needed to make a decent game about that topic, and not just some crappy stereotyped game with a poorly-developed message. I will try my best to avoid taking serious topics that lightly.
My most sincere apologies, MissingWilliam. An unintended jerk.