Hello everyone!! I'm not sure how many people are going to see this or really care to read it all, but I just want to thank all of you, from the bottom of my heart, for your appreciation and care for my visual novel Season May. I will never forget all the love, compliments and fan gifts (looking at you Bon) that you've given me.
After I released day 4, I was just... really torn. I think I've said in my updates before that nothing is ever good enough for me. But not only that... one of the reasons I even make art is to substitute the things I don't have in my life. Of course, the main thing I've been lacking my whole life is love and romance, which is why I used to read gay furry visual novels in the first place. Those visual novels like Nekojishi, Amorous, Tennis Ace and Adastra were so impactful to me... I'd never felt so in love and it's truly the only time in my life that I felt I had someone to love. I haven't been able to read visual novels ever since... for years I haven't read a single one. But I feel more comfortable making them...
But anyway, I was plotting out the rest of Season May and getting somewhere, but... I just wasn't satisfied with the art. I just... couldn't keep going with it. So then I thought to change the art style completely and rework the whole visual novel... but even then...
The main problem I had was that there was no true romance. Because I wanted Neo to be open to all characters and them all have a route, the entire story itself is deprived of romance and love - the one reason I even think of creating gay furry stories. So not only did I just hate the art... I couldn't keep writing it knowing that Neo could never fall in love with anyone. And I couldn't just choose one of my characters as I loved them so much, so... I was just at a loss.
For months I've been going back and forth and back and forth between stories and characters - I've written more stories and composed more music than I ever have in the time I've been away from Season May. I even tried recreating Season May and re-plotting it, trying to add some sort of true romance to the plot - but it just never worked, no matter how hard I tried. I saw all of your comments and I was just so ashamed of leaving the project and abandoning my characters and fans... I just couldn't handle it, so I wanted to come up with something else as quickly as possible. I'm sorry it's taken so long... but like I said, my standards are just so high that I'll never settle for mediocre. I'll never settle for anything less than perfect (to me), because why would I?
Of course, my mental health has been absolutely bat shit crazy - I honestly can't believe I'm still here. But just like Reuben, I sat with my darkness and... somehow, miraculously kept moving forward. And here I am - with a new project finally in the works. Something that I'm confident with - and something that I am going to put all of my effort into - for myself, and for all the love you gave Season May.
If any of you guys have any questions or.... anything that you'd like to ask about Season May, please do. I will be referencing Season May, and all of my characters and stories will not be lost forever - but I'm going to be making something brand new... something that truly sums me up as a furry. Please stay tuned!!!
Again, thank you to everyone who read Season May. I will try very hard to get this new project out as soon as I can - and I promise it'll be even better.
In the meantime, here's a teaser.
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If I had a philocision it would probably be leaking for you right now!!! Anyway I loved all that you brought to Season May. It's very unique and you did the alien world building in a way that was inventive, creative and new. I can't wait to read whatever you put out next!
You're back! You're back!
With all themes about depression you were writing about I thought... I was worried.
If there ever is a day in which you say that this isn't something you want to do anymore just tell us first, we'll be fine with it, even support it if it's something good for you but know that the worst goodbyes are the ones you never say before disappearing.
The world you've created is already enough to be considered a short game finished with a note for a story yet to be told and don't you DARE say that there wasn't any true romance in it, it might've been short and mostly about friendship and comradery knowing the story of those who surround you is the least I could ask knowing that true love is only after experiencing a lot of days of sorrow, happiness and anger. That's how a slow burn romance should be and you were just starting to have one.
I'll still love the work you did even if it'll be unfinished and will be supporting you with the new game you're creating. It's a good thing you'll be advertising your works, honestly it was the major problem for Season May, the story, the characters, their designs were all fine but heck you need to spread your words or else those only searching will find it. I'd help you advertise your work if I had any influence on the social maybe I'll try posting my art online, I know the feeling of never being good enough, but we need to be patient, Rome wasn't built in one day nor shall be the best works out there.
Hope you can get through with all your emotions, find someone to talk to or even express your thoughts on your music, the worst feeling is when you feel your head's going to explode with all the thoughts it has inside, don't bottle it up, don't overthink it, breathe deep and let it all out.
This is your work you don't have a time limit to finish it, don't even feel obligated to do an update every month, you can choose your time and breaks whenever you need one.
Just know you're Worth it, you'll get through
Cant wait to play it! So sorry this is happening to you. i hope it works out in the end for you. <3
Well frankly I'm not disgusted in any case it's true that stories of love and romance are hard I will always support you my friend !!!
Hey Kideshi! :(
I just wanted to reach out and say how incredibly proud I am of you. Seriously, what you've achieved with Season May is nothing short of amazing. I'm truly blown away by the dedication and passion you've poured into this project.
I know you're going through a tough time right now, but I want you to know that I've got your back. Every artist goes through ups and downs, moments of feeling lost, but it's in those moments that we truly show what we're made of.
Your new project is so exciting! I can't wait to see what you'll create with this new artistic direction. I have a feeling it's going to be even more awesome than anything you've done before.
Don't forget to take care of yourself along the way. Make sure to take breaks and recharge. And remember, you've got a whole community of fans cheering you on and eagerly awaiting your next creations.
So keep following your passion, pushing boundaries, and creating beautiful art. I have no doubt that you're going to shine brighter than ever.
I wish you all the best with your new project, and I'm here if you ever need to talk or if you need any support.
Talk soon!
Not like he really has to pick one. Poly romance exists... but maybe that's harder to write?
Thanks for what came out so far anyway.
馃挅