If possible you should remove all the "MC" talking to himself/and his "thinking" it's a wall of not needed text without any reason, and the MC could be less of an "idiot"/"stupid" not wasting player time reading all of that without need.  Leave only the  actual conversations witch characters and if he is thinking something, it could be like this example "now i need to check xxx or xxx place (if a specific time) "i need to check the combat zone/or HUB/guild or go to one of those places" as for example.