Huge fan of the adventure being presented across various disparate clippings and papers with faux handwritten annotations. And the writing matches this impressive layout. Both the Heartbeats and the Random Encounters are an excellent ways of ratcheting up the tension and putting pressure on the heroes. Absolutely brilliant stuff!
A powder-keg with potential, although the small text over that background was brutal on my eyes and brain! A sans background printer-friendly version would be appreciated. Agendas are neat and in a pitch a referee could turn them into adventure hooks. I would have divided the magic square into two parts: the handout itself (found elsewhere) and then maybe a journal entry that states the code is the shape of the sign of jupiter, touching certain numbers.
A decent premise but very linear with unused potential; mostly series of empty rooms with few encounters/interactive elements. Lacking in detail: (e.g. Ancient runic writing - what does it say?) Many NPCS lack mention which of the three types of martian introduced at beginning they are. Unadvisable placing notable NPCs (lord, wizard) just as random encounters if they don’t have a fixed location they can be normally encountered. Unsure how the PCs were supposed to use diadem as in most cases whenever the touch it they get transported somewhere else?
Also Shadowdark specific qualm: Most stat blocks were missing the creature’s lvl, which is required for some spells, etc.
Great vibes. Bare but serviceable layout. Mistake in room #2 makes reference to nonexistent room #9 instead of #6. Map lists south door to #4 as locked with no key to be found (intentionally missing or just oversight?). Room #5 listed as #6 on map. Treasure being attached to two 1:6 chances means there’s a good chance PCs will leave empty handed.
Valid questions. True, the Appendix N can be viewed through a relatively broad lens but I defaulted to what the jam lists under Theme: Retro-vibes, concepts from weird fiction & science fantasy, elements from old stories, etc. I did get a Masque of the Red Death vibe (decadent nobles partying during a perceived end times) but I think at least for me because it ended up feeling so on-point for Mörk Borg it didn't feel appropriate for anything else?
Solid layout with skillful use of text emphasis to aid reference. Love ‘besmooched’ and ‘unsmooched’ as states. Great use of colour blocks for room descriptions and stats. Map could’ve used an element to denote locked areas as well as a couple rooms (9) lacked a note in their description on being locked (one has to recall there is a key elsewhere). Can’t beat a gross manor-crawl, very Mörk Borgian but it doesn't feel very Appendix N to me.
Very cool concept, though I feel like it might be challenging to run as I personally found some of the descriptions difficult to parse what exactly was happening (could very well be a me-problem). The overall imagery/design matches the themes of gravity and sinking perfectly IMO.
The writing was succinct and evocative but I think could use a bit more clarity; the room descriptions could’ve also been more consistent with bolding for ease of reference (e.g. sometimes interactive encounters/elements were bolded, sometimes not.)
The general layout might have slightly better usability at the table if the map was adjacent to the keyed descriptions and was preceded by the Encounters page, not separated by it. Likewise, the page with Burdens/Signs/Environment/Treasures (which is an excellent section BTW for verisimilitude) I think could’ve been left near the end. (Again just personal preference; I’m certainly no layout expert.)
Finally, I think the last page should have been put to use further develop the adventure instead of leaving it pretty much blank; I do see how it visually bookends the leaflet, but one could’ve still made use of some of the space.
Thank you very much for the great review and the kind words, especially "hot tub of ecstasy and terror", which absolutely killed me. I love that consideration!
Great feedback regarding the constellations. I just wanted include some random element but wasn't able to develop it further other than set dressing.
Valid point about the statue, I guess I figured the dungeon needed to be a bit deadly at the end, especially for a powerful artifact potentially game-changer like the Ledger of Fates. The corpse was there to foreshadow the potential danger in the vault. I presumed the reason for its state was that it would be crushed by the statues' fists and desiccated by the gas when they attempted to take the ledger; both effects because how relentless it would in its task. My original concept was for the corpse to be holding the ledger (that would perhaps explain its fate better), but then it didn't make sense why the statue would just leave it there after dispatching the thief. Also I know realize that I perhaps didn't make it clear that the statue wouldn't be stationary when activated.
That all said, I didn't specify how deadly the statue could be, I intentionally left that open for the referee to work out. I just wanted to impress the potential peril, and it sounds like I succeeded since you read it that way. :D
This is an all-round solid adventure, with the added bonus of being free! Excellent premise and presentation, with novel monsters/NPCs, and useful supplemental material. 👍
The closest thing to a nitpick is I believe the map is keyed incorrectly based upon the room descriptions: I think room 7 is supposed to be room 4, 4 is supposed to be 5, 5 is supposed to be 6, and 6 is 7.
