Want to say - love your style, and have greatly enjoyed reading the scribble-hub and this preview. And I'm so glad to see it getting a publish!
Now - I'm not a real writer - so take this with a grain of salt, but I wanted to offer QA, if you think it will help. If not, disregard.
I think the hook in rcbg is much stronger than Estro Junkies.
I feel:
The instant, absurd, curt, light tone of rcbg heightens the metaphor beneath it. Estro Junkies darker, stomach-pitting opening affords it a weight, but one which I think works against its debut. The tradeoff of absurdity-vs-earnestness would be different later in the text - but with these precious opening pages, you really have to win the audience on the spirit of the story in tone alone. Rcbg has this totally unique, ludicrous grip - one that a more grounded opening can't match.
The engine beneath both stories is levity highlighting tragedy highlighting levity - and while both succeed, I think 'Estro Junkies' has to work harder to sell that idea, whereas 'Ranked Competitive Breast Growth' delivers a stronger punch - both in opening hook and title.
I'm a believer that 'the audience will know what is wrong, but wont know how to fix it' - so I wont venture there. And again, I'm just one person - so forgive me if this comment is unhelpful.
Anyways - mostly I want to say what a unique and potent writer you are, and how much I've enjoyed you work, and to thank you for sharing it. How you go about editing and publishing is, of course, your prerogative - don't let me or anyone sway you if your vision feels clear. Best of luck in this and all endeavors!








