The idea has me hooked, and I don't want to ruin it by playing the playtest version. Sometimes instruments with imperfections are the ones you love the most.
Thanatologist
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A member registered Mar 10, 2022
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A Trip to the Store at Night comments · Replied to Pulse Tower in A Trip to the Store at Night comments
A Trip to the Store at Night comments · Replied to Pulse Tower in A Trip to the Store at Night comments
It's more a general writing style to be honest, so that makes it a touch tricky to pin down. Whilst I'm a pedant who finds "that that" redundant for example, it can be tough to discern whether certain repetitions are a stylistic choice or a lack of creativity. Whilst it could be argued that the style emphasises the infantile nature of the protagonist, it does make the whole experience come off as somewhat like reading a children's book. I'm not meaning to sound scathing in my mentioning of this, but I'd be remiss not to mention how much it affects the tone. It's your piece though, so it's your angle. I might merely be averse to the style itself, and that's fine.
*Comfy* tunes! The art style works with the theme, but the writing could do with a bit of work. Not a vignette, all things considered. The angle of depression mixed with surrealism bodes well for future works. Like if Salad Fingers wasn't unbearably cringe. All in all, an intriguing first attempt at game design which was worth the play through.