When I was first unleashed from my mothers womb, I found this world particularly mundane. There was no backwards dash mechanics. No cool purple beam. No cool upgrades. Nothing. That is, until God revealed Themself to me, and sent me a copy of MOONCOWL. Ever since I have downloaded and started playing this game, I have passed all of my classes with A+'s, all my professors love me, and I got a $500/hr summer research opportunity at Tel Aviv University. Just when it couldn't get better, on Feb 1, 2026, God Themself added the SUPERDASH. I cannot even put into words how overjoyed I am. Now I am married (to someone else) with 12 kids, and live in Agartha. I would kill all of them for just one more playthrough of MOONCOWL.
