Hm, a sfw version might be a necessity if push comes to shove
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Shagai174e
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A member registered Jan 16, 2024
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!!! Spoiler warning !!!
SPOILER WARNING
READ THE NOVEL BEFORE READING THIS, THIS IS A MAJOR SPOILER
The flashbacks promised a lovey dovey 2 party romance 馃槶 and yet real time is such a tonal whiplash
Luc was absolutely fridged.... Ash shouldve used Luc to coerce the MC to start off the main plot... Luc's death felt... meaningless. Luc's death was incredibly predictable... 馃槶 No good boys see a tommorow.
Jumping between flashbacks and Real time makes the genre and overall tone a bit incoherent with how the flashbacks are warm and welcoming and the real time is just so miserable muted and harsh, idk if the jarring transition between moods was intentional but its giving incohesive mood
The dialogue is super well done, the characters feel real and consistent. Though the lack of grief outside the flashbacks leaves the mental load unto the players and not on the MC, which is a small inaccuracy since the MC is the player's insert, though the MC does comment on the "trajedy", it feels... a tad bit underwhelming when you think of the severity of the "tragedy".
The "Noise" at the end was very very effective in driving home the mood and tension. Well done, and the vision gimmick was brilliant. Solid 9.7/10 in gameplay, I love that homophobic brown dog.
I feel as if Luc's *cough cough* "Tired legs" flashback was a tad bit longer than it shouldve been, that's subjective but I suggest you trim 1 or 2 lines form the end so it lines with emotional peaks.
Every scene was beautifully crafted with intent and love, which is very very impressive, there was no irrelevant filler, all scenes delivered a point, the pacing is incredibly done and it's a pleasant read.
Just keep track of emotional peaks in dialogue and scene and that's all the advise I could muster up.
Bravo. 9.8/10 in storytelling. Better than 99% of Netflix Remakes, the -0.2 was because
Luc needed a better send off or he shouldntve died whatsoever, I get that it helps add stakes but the MC seemed to far too apathetic. it feels like Luc went from a Love intrest to a Fridge character which is a bit disappointing. Just dont kill Luc, hospitalize him, Give the MC some hope to explain why he hasn't offed himself allready. Luc is his lighthouse afterall, revenge is far fetched and unrealistic in the setting because revenge is a good incentive is good in theory but it's not feasible in the setting. Especially with how Ash described the place.
Hot take : Make saving Luc the goal, and I think it would be a better story imho and that goal would recontextualize the flashbacks greatly imho. Coercion fits Ash quite well. And an overcharging goal keeps players hooked and excited for new updates.
#BringBackLuc
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