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I see it! I appreciate it! I've rebranded in Steam to Amicus and ALSO bought a bunch of Lavender-scented things LOL I can't help it. I love the character and I love the way they love. 

Thank you for taking the time! :)

Follow-up to a post I made a few days ago further down this page:

I played this a week ago and lost my mind. It turns out I made a bad decision, of the 3 times you get to make one, and it gave me an uncertain and astronomically sad ending. I was torn apart by the thought "it's not fair" because I thought that was it. It was just over.

But I played it again and made different decisions. Good ones. I cried again when I got to see....

X

---SPOILERS---

X

...the future. I missed it. I didn't know if we got a life with Amicus. I didn't know that we got to see him. For me, this past week has just been filled with a hole in my heart at the idea that we never got closure and tonight, I got it. Finding out that we DO, in fact, complete the mission and spend the rest of our lives with Amicus... I'm so glad I played again. I'm so sad I missed it the first time.

X

---END SPOILERS---

X

Over the past week, I've dreamed about Amicus every single night, for real. I've never had a piece of media grip me by the throat like this. I don't know how to describe it. It's just a story. It's a fictional, alien wolf that kidnaps the reader who then goes through all kinds of traumatic events with tough characters and an exaggerated atmosphere.

But it just feels so honest. 

I don't know if Howly ever comes through these posts but if they do, and they're reading this, then thank you for sharing your story.

It's somehow changed how I think about a lot of things and while I'm still unpacking why, navigating through what this story means to me, just know that your passion has invoked emotions in so many people. I'm sure you know it, but many folks are looking forward to more!

I know that I'm only going to be able to read through the story so many more times before I move on, but I don't want to move on. I feel like a part of me will hurt without Amicus. SOOOOOO I ordered a small poster of him and I'm gonna have it framed for the wall next to my desk LMAO gotta keep him close. I won't miss him if he's never gone.

To the stars!

I have a lot of feelings but no furry friends to share them with. I'm not even a furry myself, believe it or not. Despite that, as a hopeless romantic, it's so easy to find comfort in the goofy and compassionate anthropomorphic wolf that Amicus is. 

Couple slight spoilers ahead.

I've been crying on and off for a couple hours now. Some of it is anger and some of it is sadness. I'm upset that this was all I get (for now?). It wasn't enough. It doesn't feel fair that the whole story ended on a goodbye. I was obsessively pulled in over the past 48 hours and binged this to the end, consistently aware of "I'm getting closer to the end" and finding Amicus's bad end pleas of "No no no, please don't go" becoming my own @ the story itself.

It was so good and corny in the best ways. I have such a hard time in real life with advancing affection, often freezing completely in moments where others would make a move. I have ZERO issues in the social and flirty department (I'd even go as far as saying that I'm ridiculously charismatic) but stories like this allow me to vicariously make moves on characters easy to fall for and, I dunno, it fills a part of me I often forget and neglect. I'm not sure if it's a part of my asexuality or what but visual novels like this have become a safe space for me. 

So I guess I just needed to put some of what I'm feeling somewhere. This story made such an impact on me in such a grossly short amount of time. Part of me feels silly, knowing it's just a fictional story about an alien wolf from a fake planet but also... I don't know. 

I yearn for love and romance and fantastical places and things.

I don't know how long it will take for this sadness to leave me, but I know that Adastra and Amicus will be around for the rest of my life.