Sorry if this sounds weird, but I barely believe you pulled off this concept as well as you did. It really tells a lot about the quality of your writing. From the title I expected something a bit more strange and metaphorical, but the depiction of grief and the dialogue that was actually there was way beyond what I was hoping for. Hope you'll find many more readers on Steam & with your future projects. :)
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Oh man, this caught me by surprise. Absolutely brilliant, I adore how you play with the metaphors here and the punchline about love it all led to. It's been a while since a short story resonated with me on this level, really good job. And I liked the visual style too. ^^
Super late to this one, but I really liked it. Felt like a return to form after the last VN being a tiny bit bland in my experience... Or maybe even my new favourite? ;) Quite liked the pacing of the relationship and the somewhat-wacky premise. The romance felt well earned and well fleshed out by the end, more than in most short VNs I've read. Keep up the good work. ^^
Insane how long it took me to get to it... But what a lovely little story. The writing is top-notch (as usual for Hag), but I especially liked Ember's side of the story. Made me tear up a little. Good job~
Man, your dark comedy and writing in general are as brilliant as ever. This one grasped me slightly less when it goes to the characters, as we got only a brief look at anyone outside of the protagonist(s), but damn, I'd love to see the full story of Vivian and Lua. So many intriguing parts there. :>
And that's pretty much the only complaint I have, it left me longing for more, maybe not from the main plotline's perspective (all three endings for the protagonist's struggle were cool in their own ways), but when it goes to the supporting cast and the whole immortality potion drama. :3
Why is this game so adobrable? I expected it to be kind of throwaway parody VN but the artstyle is just so good and cute??? Like, that character portrait of Yuki drinking bobba???
...um, sorry, I think I suffered from literal cuteness overload. Didn't even finish reading yet, but wanted to share my appreciation for the sheer stylishness of it all. And the writing matches the cute/funny vibe very well. Definitely an unexpected gem from this year's NaNoRenO. ^^
I really good literary adaptation VN. I'm really fond of those, as a well-developed kinetic novel can bring more live to an already solid story... And this project did it very well. The visuals felt polished and climatic. The small touches of interactivity were thematic and didn't get in the way. The prose maybe tried a bit too hard to be philosophical at times, but it never crossed the line into being obnoxious. The storyline, as melancholic as it was, had an interesting message and avoided most easy resolutions/cliches that you often find in VNs.
Overall, a very well-put-together experience – not exactly fun, considering the themes, but definitely compelling. Looking forward to your future projects. :)
Hey, this was a bit broken from the technical standpoint and the first few choices were completely pointless but overall, not a bad story! I very much liked the framework and how you portrayed the protagonist's emotions when confronted with someone from her past. Also, the voice acting was really well-done.
You probably don't care about my opinion, but you could expand this into a really nice commercial VN. As vanilla as the story is, it hits all the right notes for a yuri fluff game. You'd only need to expand it a bit and elaborate on Tomoyo's character and her past with the protagonist...
Anyway, I'm just rambling at this point... Still, nicely done!
I'm very late to this party, but still, I think you guys "won" the Valentine's Jam. ;) While the manga style was a nice bonus, the real highlight for me was the writing. It's not that easy to balance the drama and humour without going over the top or struggling to set up a clear tone, especially in a short game that doesn't have room to transition between "proper" storytelling and fluff. However, this game really did a great job of being both consistently funny and very real when it needed to. The way the main characters acted really made all the sense in the world considering they were crumbling messes, trying to adapt to their new situations and in the end gravitating towards each other. With a bit more time and a longer, more nuanced plot, it could've been exceptional by any measure, but for a jam entry, it was a really lovely treat. Thank you for putting it out. ^^
God, I'm so late to this... :<
Well, anyway... This was something different, I'm not sure I've read a VN constructed in this way before. The contrast between the protagonist's deep struggles and the quirky fandom talk make it something of an emotional roller-coaster, and my mind kind of had problems to treat both parts as a cohesive whole. Same goes for the transition at the end and the romantic conclusions... The switch from the protagonist essentially being a creep and things going that far was a bit rapid, I think a more open conclusion would be easier to digest?
I feel the way you like to work with extremes is really shining when you construct dramatic stories but somewhat overwhelms the cuteness this VN seemed to be aiming for. That's my read at least, but to be clear, I still enjoyed it a lot and it left me with stuff to think about. :)
Well, this little story surprised me in a few ways. I really like the designs and the way you communicate the story, not over-explaining stuff and letting the reader put the pieces together. Also the climate was spot-on – I'm really looking forward to the next game in the series. :)
Wow, this got way more real than I expected. I was never in similar position as Bee, but the endings on being found out were still quite striking. The one with friends finding out maybe the most of them all, as I just felt how soulcrashing it would be in real life (although it felt a bit out-of-character for them to be this cruel?).
I really liked the style of narration, the feelings of detachment and confusion were really well conveyed. My favourite ending was the fujoshi fanclub – I guess I just enjoy people being weirdos together and sharing their hobbies. :D
So, wow... This was really good, even better than reading Limbokin made me expect. And that title. ^^
After the Package Chat I was really happy to see you made a game for NeNoRen0 and it didn't disappoint. You really have a talent for creating vivid worlds while never overdoing exposition or losing the focus on the characters. It also got really intense by the end and I'm still kind of dazed by it. Game jam VNs often fail to make that strong of an impression or give me this much to think about with 5 times the text. Please never stop making these. ^^
Oh Man, I love your style of storytelling. It's so relentless... I enjoyed it a lot in Jack-In-A-Castle and maybe even more here. While the story was a lot more minimalistic, the grotesque tone was brilliantly done.
I'm tempted to ask whether this is also getting an expanded version, but on the other hand, it's kind of perfect just the way it is... ^^
Cool, thanks for clarifying. I'm making a summary of the Jam for my blog, but I don't like including demos and prototypes in it, as often nothing comes out of those. Your game went on the list. ;)
EDIT: And congrats on the game, I've just finished it and it's really good! The best thing that came from this year's Jam IMHO. :)
I'll be blunt: this Yuri Game Jam was extremely bland overall, but your story stood out in a pretty awesome way. Really good concept, a lot of interesting details and nice flow of the dialogue. I'd really love to see a sequel, or generally another story from you in the future. :)