I, uh, hmmm...don't think I'll top this.
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Hey everybody, it's yer boy Patrick, number 1 ranked GOAT player in the entire world. I started playing and liked it but got obsessed with getting my name on the leaderboard after someone left a really bad slur on it (you should, uh, probably be on the lookout for that) and knew I needed to knock it off. Then I knew I had to knock Verbante off the number 1 spot.
Boom. Next goal is 10,000 then I can retire with my name in the history books as the true GOAT.