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Nuclear_LJ

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A member registered Jun 15, 2020 · View creator page →

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The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere is a fantastic story that tackles complicated ideas and uncomfortable truths about us all, but can simultaneously be a bit of a hard sell with its massive wordcount and sense of omnipresent mystery making even its hooks feel tentative and vague, requiring a sense of strong commitment that can be tough to ask of new readers from the get-go. Finding a way to ameliorate this without having to cut the story to pieces in an attempt to speed it up is a bit of a dilemma, as its length and sense of continuous, downright obsessive reflection on its own contents is arguably part of the story’s identity, but at the same time part of the problem.

This VN adaptation, fortunately, has managed to find a way forward that I think has put my worries to rest entirely!
In this adaptation of what is roughly the story’s first six chapters, plot elements have been shifted around to feel more cohesive, scenes have been edited for clarity and the medium of the visual novel has been utilized quite well to make dialogue-heavy scenes feel much punchier. The sense of presentation does a lot to ensure that any sense of monotony one might feel from the protagonist’s lengthier introspections is kept at an all-time minimum; suddenly, mere narration has been allowed to take on a cinematic quality that makes Su’s personal perspective on things to feel almost cosmically important, selling you on her philosophy much harder than ever before. It’s quite simply peak!

The only thing I will criticize here is that, aside from improvements in the sound department (ambiences are too harsh and would benefit from proper looping and filtering to reduce distracting noises, certain sound effects like the auditorium applause go into high-frequency ranges that I would consider inadvisable for sfx that are ostensibly set dressing rather than pivotal scene-changers, vocal bleeps are prone to causing click noises when layered on top of each other, music could stand to have fade-in and fade-out transitions by default when beginning to play), the narrative could take advantage of its new format even further.

Right now, the story still uses a lot of narration for small things that could be relegated to character dialogue or simple visual changes— and I think it is generally better to minimize constant switching between the NVL screen and the dialogue screen for small snippets of narration, as constant changes in the UI ultimately still do force readers to constantly shift gears in how they read text. In scene s006oldyru, after Ran talks about not wasting 3 luxury debt, the narration kicks in to tell us that Su snorts, before switching back to regular dialogue. This is not really necessary and could just as easily have been conveyed by a simple sprite change from Su and a dialogue box from her reading something like “pfft.” or just “…” with focus intentionally being put on the visual change of her sprite being amused for a second for once before progressing the text and changing it back to her regular anxious expressions. You have a means to convey character actions and states very directly now— please use it as much as possible to outright replace extraneous text and changes in the UI.

Still, though, I am truly happy to see how excellent this demo is and how much it retains of Flower’s unique identity while adding even more flavor to it through the use of audio and visuals. Please keep it up! I’ll be awaiting whatever comes next with bated breath, as always.

What an absolute treat of a story— this both excels as a forgery and a complex story "outside" the gameboard, creating some very impressive interplay between both sides of the narrative. I was very positively surprised by the change in tone once you arrive at the first interlude and realize this story isn't just a spruced up EP8-esque purple board, but something more ambitious than this. I love the setting of the forgery forum and the way the protagonist talks about it and its users; while I joined the Umineko fandom at a point in time where these kinds of forum cultures had already more or less started dying, I remember the time I spent lurking there very fondly. (I enjoyed the hints section for that reason quite a bit as well; they were thoughts on mystery/gameboard writing and how they stood in relation to Umineko, after all.) 

Big kudos to you for the visual presentation; the use of the box/line to denote story "modes" such as a body discovery, regular gameboard segments or forum discussions are delightful and I must admit that I caught myself gasping in surprise when I first saw the previously black background change to a blood splatter and watched the purple frame turn to the red we're all so familiar with. 

I also cannot neglect to mention the amazing answer minigame— as someone who has worked with Ren'py quite a bit before, I was very impressed by your system and all its quirks, and I do admit that I ended up going through the code just to see what else I could find in there. (It did not disappoint. The poisoned sugar entry was hilarious.) 

In regards to the mystery itself, of course, I was very impressed with how it was designed; really throwing everything at you without mercy, making you doubt yourself and your refusal to believe that these incidents just being entirely impossible— a seemingly ruthless attack you can't reason your way out of.  
I don't know to what degree you planned this, but to me, a lot of the gameboard's workings felt like a cleverly devised trap to trick you into gaining tunnel vision and only focusing on the wrong parts, especially for people who've consumed Umineko fanworks before, who are already familiar with the tropes and tricks of the genre and naturally hold certain expectations when reading a story like this. From the cast (and survivor) choices, the character writing, the chaotic pacing and hectic back and forths between the survivors during key moments, to the clarification of the rules to lull you into a false sense of security regarding certain culprit possibilities, the twist of the second narrative that's correlated with the one on the board... every moment felt like it was designed to throw you off and cause you to start second-guessing literally anything because you could no longer be certain if it really did happen the way you assumed it to be. I had to sleep on the mystery to really gain the clarity to get the correct approach, which I happened to find through the final incident; though the other murders still gave me a lot more trouble and kept me doubting my approach again and again until I finally got it right. 

Admittedly, I felt that the second incident wasn't exactly the "weak link" of the mystery that the hints implied it was; if you solve it, the rest of the mystery would most likely be very easy, but I found it to be a much more difficult starting point than the third incident. I personally think that the "lucky" factor relating to the door wasn't exactly properly hinted at, which led to me just randomly picking all the door options during the minigame because to me, it seemed there wasn't really enough information for me to go off of, as well as the possibility it wasn't even locked during the incident to begin with. This is, of course, just my opinion, and I could've overlooked something in the narration or purples pointing towards that, but I wanted to share this with you all the same.

Overall, I have to say that I absolutely love this game. It's well-written, has a challenging mystery, a stunning sense of style and visuals, and a top-notch way to put your skills to the test. Thank you for sharing your wonderful work, and I hope this comment was, despite its wordiness, able to communicate my appreciation. Have a nice day or evening!