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I love your idea! Overall, I planned the adventure out poorly. I didn't really take the 1 page requirement to heart. Next time I'll do something much more simple. Thanks for reading.

Thank you for reading it all the way through. My entry really didn't end being well suited for this jam. I probably should've used the idea somewhere else. Not that I shouldn't have done the Jam. I just won't use my first idea next time. Maybe write a short story first to get it out of my system. 

Thank you for taking the time to look through everything and review it in detail. I'm not going to make any excuses for myself. I'm just going to take the feedback I've received into consideration the next time I make an RPG. I hope you will consider checking out what I make next, if only to see if I've grown at all.