Hi, thanks for leaving so much thoughtful feedback! I'll definitely consider it as I work on future updates.
Making the story more interactive is something I plan on doing, though what form it'll take isn't yet set in stone. When you say you feel like you're watching from a window, do you mean you aren't connecting with Seraphina as a character, or that you don't feel like you share her perspective, or something else?
I'll also try to work in more elements to make the game more visually engaging and easier to parse! I'm only just beginning to tap into what Twine can do so that's super feasible. Whether I add sound effects will depend on whether I can find good ones and incorporate them in ways that add to the experience rather than distracting or annoying the reader (but I'll do what I can!).