henlo!!!
first paragraph i was like: ah yeah, great text, sounds like something for me!!! and then i was like: woah, me mentioned???? 💜
so, maybe i can try to give you advice, and i guess my indirect involvement in this post already feels like an invitation to do that, haha. right now, for example, i am very depressed and unfocussed, and the political turmoil here in germany (as well as ~whatever~ is even happening in the usa) further contributes to hugely negative feelings. i don't even know whether i will have money next month, or if friedrich merz already cancelled all social support here. and i've been already having a mental breakdown every couple of weeks before all that lol. right now, barely surviving seems to be an artform of its own.
i personally consider disjointedness a strength - when i started writing stage plays a long while ago, i did A LOT of experimentation with just disjointedness and the breaking of form of whatever rules there are. and since i've studied creative writing & media art, i definitely was forced to constantly think about my work (and defend it), eventhough "art school" kinda sucked lol. embracing one's strengths and what one values in other people's art, and to kinda take sth from that for one's own art is good advice in my opinion. and if this seems far away right now: i am sure, you will get there eventually. people have been making art under the worst historical conditions, when you look at the art that was made during the world wars for example. i believe that art and we as artists will always find a way.
you probably already watched those, when you are into ~the surreal~ but i can recommend watching david lynch (RIP) talking about his craft, for example in the art life (2016) or his masterclass that people have been posting online now in full length after his death. i also do like the documentary jodorowsky's dune (2013) on alejandro jodorowsky's unfinished dune movie, i watch it every couple of years and it soothes me. idk.
i guess i just do whatever i want to do right now, and whatever works for me right now, and whatever needs to be done right now. as natalie wynn noted in one of her tangents: "don't analyze it, stop making it make sense. you are doing surrealism wrong" - and to then follow up on that: people would do art kinda wrong; but also not, because i genuinely believe there is no such thing as "wrong" in art.
"don't be so hard on yourself. eventually the good things (might?) come" -i would say to you, and also to myself, because i mostly literally feel the same as you described in this little rant lol.
in the end, i guess i just had a lot of time to think and to write and to develop a poetology and poetologic rules over lots of years that kinda work for me, but all this previous underlying work might go unnoticed as of now.
and oh gosh, i am REALLY NOT a person one should compare oneself to, i really do not want to cause any negative feelings in this regard!!! i'm literally just a random person with intrusive thoughts & compulsions & internet access who has zero idea & zero f*cks to give :3 - so it's super awesome that my things seem to click with you, wow, that's so great!!!! i feel honored!!!!! 💜
and i can say that your things on itch.io look super interesting, eventhough i am (unfortunately?) more busy creating than having the time to engage with other people's art more (which then frustrates me!!! haha). but maybe that's also good advice: to maybe dedicate more time to your own craft and reducing the consumption of other people's art, that you've mentioned? as david lynch also said in his masterclass, these days distractions are everywhere, even though this might seem selfish at first, we live in this era of overconsumption and overstimulation, everything everywhere all at once (also quite a good film btw). and to reduce that - and thus also the harmful opportunities of comparing oneself (which i am also constantly doing omg and all the people in my feed are so much better than me (they really are!!!! aaaaaaaaahhhh!!!)) - seems to be a healthy thing.
maybe this helps a bit. or at least the cat image is cute?
~greetings from a fellow anxious stranger who has been in a rut lately & who struggles with translating their brain stuff into any form whatsoever & who just wants to make art as good as the art they like & who constantly can't seem to, & that sucks (& my apologies for these disjointed sentences)
