I wanted to give your story a read and a comment, since you were kind enought to comment on mine. Thank you so much for that, by the way.
First, I want to say that the concept you went with is very neat, and I wish more people explored these characters pre-Gensokyo. ZUN gives these characters such out-there ages, with the Myouren Temple members (barring Kyouko) being something like 1000+ years old. That's a lot of years that one can explore, yet it's mostly just a cosmetic number 90% of the time.
Next, I want to say: The art was cute! I couldn't help but be reminded of the art for the Sinnoh Myths video TheJWitz did ages ago, in addition to something like Okami. It was especially neat to see a take on elderly Byakuren and an elderly Myouren, though I'm curious: Did female Buddhists really wear those head robes back then? I couldn't help connecting her visually to Catholic nuns, the choice really has me wondering.
Finally, I'm surprised you went with Myouren being the one to sort of sow the seeds for Byakuren's compassion for youkai, that really surprised me! Maybe Myouren was always the reason, I don't actually know, but it always struck me that she showed compassion for youkai on her own, like it'd be something her brother and parents may raise an eyebrow at. However, it does seem logical, given my vague understanding of Mahayana Buddhism and its emphasis on compassion (I'm a Christian, I'll admit).
Now I will add one slightly negative comment, and it may have been just me missing something obvious: aside from comments made by the tsuchigumo, I didn't entirely see the sexism mentioned in the description. The description made me think that'd be a larger part, so I guess that just confused me.
This is less of a negative comment, just a thought: Byakuren's youkai magic, I don't think, would make her "evil to humans," her heart doesn't seem to have much evil in it. The humans do find what she did abominable, though, so maybe that's what she meant. As well, I thought Byakuren aged herself down out of fear of dying rather than out of a sense of duty, that part was interesting.
You did a wonderful job, boss! Keep up the good work! As a Christian, though, the 4 Noble Truth structure was admittedly somewhat lost on me, I'd love to learn more about it from you if you'd like to reach out (My Discord is the same name as my username)! God bless!
KorytheMaril
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A member registered Jan 16, 2026 · View creator page →
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A Touhou Fanfiction for the January 2026 Touhou Writing Jam
