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kieran_schwartz

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A member registered Mar 06, 2020

Recent community posts

Ain't nothin' steamier than when bae carries me in a bloody sack and slams me down onto a bed of dirt and leaves me there. Always gets me going.

SAMURAI! (Steam Version)!

I am well TRAINed, for DE-PART! (This is the funniest joke I have ever made and I will not let it go unoticed).

I always thought I should have been a farmer...and now I think I was right!

I was moved. I was scared. I laughed. I fell in love. I was promised a rich narrative experience and so too was I delivered one. Bravae, my friends, bravae.

Turns out this is the second time I made a video on this game. Co-INCIDENT-ce!? I THINK NOT!

DANG OL' FURRY COME IN TOOK M'DANG OL' JOB MAINE I SWEAR IT!

You know, I'm not too sure those Watchers should be Trusted...

It pays to be a gambling man...;{)))

Oh silly Larry, thinking he can escape my LOVE! 

No one escapes my love, Larry...

...no one.

I shredded the gnar! (And the competition)!

I love stealthing men RIGHT in the freedom!

(P.S. If you need a voice actor for roles such as, "Cowardly Henchman #4," or, "Guy Who Dies Immediately to Establish How Evil the Main Villain Really is," I'm always available. ;{) )

You know, I almost was a bartender at one point!

Kinda glad I'm not.

But...what kind of bagel am I?

My emo 4 year old self thanks you for this chance to liv

e out his fantasy!

Ha! Take that, "THE MAN!!!"

It should be good now, give it a try!

Turns out I've been peeing wrong all my life...

!HOWEE PARNER!

ALL HAIL GUCCI VESPUCCI!!!

I came. I parked. I squandered.

I dunno, the games feels a little...paper thin?

;{)))))))))))))))))))))))

This game is sweet! Almost as sweet as my Ritz Chili Cheese nibs. 

;{)

Really gotta...HAND it to ya... ;{))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Nothing like a man's protruding belly to wash off that greasy dirt and grim!

First one so good, I had to come back for seconds.

I don't wanna find that Geocache...

It was my absolute pleasure! ;{D

Public transit is always such an...experience...

You know? I don't think this fellow has my best interests at heart.

It do be Friday!

"I felt their eyes on me like...wet peaches..."

So good I have to keep coming back for another video! Then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...then another...

Being easily distracted has it's benefits! ;{D

I daresay. These Suits have gone ever so slightly perturbed. Enraptured with consuming their upsetti-spaghetti. If these Suits were campers, let us say, they would be of the unhappiest variety.

NEVER pass up free protein.

What's a little undercooked meat among friends?