I completely agree with you - it's hard to balance. I didn't make one mention of the phrase 'close enough' and I think some people couldn't see it. I felt the same way as Keith but it's a two day jam and an audience you're not too sure about, so I didn't penalise it. Top job, mate!
I had the same initial reaction as Gunrat to the title but was pleasantly surprised by what came through in the meat of it. I am glad I read your entry. The only thing that got me was how amiable Kimes was after being kicked in the head so severely.
I enjoyed the characterization of your villain-protagonist through the limited third person narrative point of view. Had a soft spot for her in the end.
Thank you, kindly. The idea was that at the end, she got close enough to 'success' for what she had set out to do. Tried to be a little subtle about it.
Has all the hallmarks of good writing - you carried the balance of vividness vs 'over-telling' really well. Brooding without becoming painfully angst-y, grim without becoming pretentious. And I really liked that you wrote to the theme.
Well done on creating the mood and atmosphere - the tone of desperation carried through well. I would have liked the 'Audio Log Unregistered Ship' section to have been a little clearer but really enjoyed Ensign Karimova's entry and the Hall of Legislature audio log sections.
Really enjoyed this one. The inner monologue characterised the protagonist well. I agree that making the end a tad bit more obvious would have helped me figure out the ending better, but I know first-hand how difficult it is to balance subtlety vs making something pedestrian, so well done!
