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A member registered 94 days ago

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Hi there,

I just played through the demo and I have some concerns. I’m going to write them out below, sorry for the long post.

First of all - will this game be commercial? If so, do you intend to update the main menu GUI, seeing as it’s the basic ren’py one but with some random paint brushes here and there? It looks very unprofessional and not becoming of a paid product.

As for the textbox - is this a placeholder? The colors are too saturated and bright, and it looks amateur. I can see it’s meant to be a French street sign, but they didn’t look like this until after 1950. It kind of ruins the beautiful backgrounds to have a big, ugly textbox.

I noticed quite a few grammatical mistakes, too. I wanted to ask if you have an editor or a proofreader? Also, in places, the English is a little wonky. “Get out the road” should either be “” Get out of the road” or “Get off the road”, for instance.

When you get into Paul’s room, the room is already full of painting supplies. Is this just to save money on variations, or is there something else planned here?

The paint brush that shows at the end of sentences also is often in the wrong place and covers the words.

On the choice where you decide whether to approach the woman or not in the flower shop, even if you pick to let her browse Nathalie still says “Perhaps that direct approach works well in the country” which doesn’t make sense.

In general, some of the sprites expressions are, well.. They’re downright creepy. For Ferdinand, some of the expressions change his face so much that he doesn’t even look the same.

So, that’s pretty much it. The backgrounds were lovely (props to the artist), and the premise was fine, but the way it was executed was rather poor.

I hope you’ll improve this before it goes on Kickstarter.