Just a few days ago, I was scrolling through Google bored of my current fnf mods until I stumbled upon this masterpiece. I downloaded FNF: Funzi Beats and I’ll tell you that after playing it I was never the same.
As soon as I booted up the game, Funzi the dunzingling bunzler greeted me with the most elated grin I’ve seen since my boyfriend confessed to me. He must have been really happy about something! I wondered what though. I decided to put my theorizing aside and pressed enter. However, Funzi’s smile turned upside down once pressed the key. It was a comical frown ☹️ at first, but I didn’t care about that loser anyway. I pressed enter again, and all it did was make his frown worse. I started spamming the enter key until it wouldn’t work, and his frown got so bad that it looked like he saw an F on his report card and the thoughts kicked in.
After about ten seconds, he walked off screen and the week menu finally opened. However, something was wrong. I get it’s a fnf mod, but one of the weeks looked… Off… Now, I always wondered why most fnf mods are horror or horror themed, but this mod didn’t look like horror at a glance. Not at all. But the way Funzi acted and how there’s only one week titled “Welcome Back” in glitchy text. I thought to myself that this was a shitty attempt at a creepypasta. I’ve seen analog horror become some sort of brainrot with the kiddos nowadays, but even something as “Welcome Back” seems too generic and unoriginal for even them.
However, knowing contemplating it wouldn’t get me anywhere, I went ahead and clicked enter. Sure, I should be paying close attention to the details, but… It’s not even a horror mod, so why should I care? Or maybe that’s just what it wants me to think? Maybe it doesn’t want me to find out whatever secrets hide behind this mysterious mod? But, I’m not Paul from Petscop. Even if this is an arg, I should probably ignore it and go on with my life.
Anyways, back to the mod; it felt laggy when I pressed enter, as it took a few seconds to load the week (I of course chose hard like a real rhythm gamer). It looked like the generic fnf mod: Funzi on the left, Boyfriend on the right, and Girlfriend missing a face. How unoriginal, am I right? Surely this’ll be a snooze fest. As the song began, I heard the most ear-screeching music (yeesh, the SpongeBob meme was right) followed by a low quality with reverb rickroll. Surprisingly, there were no notes on either sides. Wow, what a shitty charter. However, I noticed I had other priorities than criticizing the charter.
That’s right. The screen quickly switched to some black screen with a still image of Funzi having an open mouth with no tongue and, for some odd reason , two human eyes dangling out. There was blood dripping from his mouth too. There was faint white text in the background reading “Remember me?” This shit is so generic, like, YEESH! Really, the horror character guy having human things in their mouth and blood over them? The faint text in the background of, of course, a black screen? How generic.
I didn’t really want to dig into this shitty arg or whatever this is, so I tried to press esc but it wouldn’t work. After a few seconds of pressing it and realizing it wasn’t working, I shut down my computer and that did the trick. I quickly turned it back on and deleted the files afterwards. I finally got rid of it.
Is, of course 🙄, what I thought. Wow, the files redownloaded themselves! Big woop! I decided to give it another try because I was bored as hell that day because not only did some guy make a fuss out of me being panro-ace because he was probably jealous I have a boyfriend loves me when his mom probably doesn’t, but Roblox was also coincidentally down for me so I couldn’t play the peak that is Combat Initiation (I’ll never stop being a CI glazer). All the games on my phone I got burned out on too (Zenless Zone Zero is peak but not when you get jack exp from anything except dailies which is literally any hoyo game).
I opened the mod again, but… Funzi wasn’t there to greet me? I pressed enter, and there was only one week. I pressed enter again and played it. Really not much to say. There were like three or four songs I don’t really remember how much, but they weren’t that hard and I beat them all first try. All the shitty horror aspects were gone, and I thought to myself… Did I make the right decision? I made myself miss out on some shitty arg that might have started out bad but slowly got better and higher quality kinda like how the start of Needlem0use was a bit bland but like an episode or two later it got way better (or maybe it was all peak like it’s been two years since I binged it). But maybe it would stay shitty as if a 12 year old made it? Who knows? Certainly not me.
With that, I can proudly say this mod has changed my life. It has taught me the valuable lesson of taking opportunities and not missing them just because they don’t seem good at first glance. That weird version I downloaded was gone forever, and I’ll never get that chance back. It could have been good, but it could have been bad. Either way, it would’ve been worth it to at least try. I should really think more next time before making decisions like that. I’m still curious as to why the files redownloaded themselves and if there’s still things I need to explore. I’ll check out the game’s files thoroughly tomorrow to see if there’s any clues or so, because there has to be since they redownloaded themselves mysteriously as if they don’t want to leave, right? Or maybe it’s just some shitty virus that’ll make something like “You are an idiot!” flash on my screen over and over again. Either way, thank you Funzi for giving me something to kill the time with! This better be peak or I’ll make you pay!