I think it's evident that you care deeply for this story and I'm glad that it resonated with a lot of people. There were parts of it that felt alienating to me. I remember reading one of the earlier chapters and there was a scene where Zack and Braden were talking about the "gay movement" that was off-putting to me. Had to take a break from the story for a while. When I came back to it, I was relieved that the politics were set aside in favor of getting to know the characters. I grew really attached to them, and was enjoying seeing the story progress. It was frustrating seeing the same political issue pop up again in a recent chapter.
I can empathize with feeling like you're maybe being judged or pushed to accept an identity that you're not ready for, but saying that gays that are comfortable with their sexuality make it their personality or "advertise it to everyone" (whatever that means) feels mean-spirited. Some of us can't or never wanted to pass for straight so we either had to accept ourselves or spend our lives miserable. I think closeted guys can be quick to say that out gays judge them but can't see how they're being judgemental as well.
Ultimately it's your story, write it how you want. Just trying to share a perspective you might not have considered.