I saw two spelling/grammar mistakes and have a few suggestions.
Image 1: the first is that I think it should say "It doesn't sound" rather than "I doesn't sound".
Image 2: the other was when Floyd mentions going downstairs. Floyd has said "downstair" rather than "downstairs".
Image 3: Then, when Floyd says, "It is rich and dense", a suggestion is to have "it's" rather than "it is" since you had "it's" in the previous sentence.
Image 4: "The confusion in your mind has completely been melted away". For that, you could possibly remove "been" to make it more concise and better to read.
Image 5-6: I noticed that the text often doesn't fill the box. You can see that "always" from image 6 should be able to fit in image 5. This, coupled with the lack of ending full stops, makes it slightly confusing. I don't know if not using full stops for the last sentence is a stylistic choice or not, but it makes it a bit weird to read. A possible fix is to shrink the font size enough to add a 4th line of text in a slide or add the ending full stop. I think shrinking the font size would be nice, as other visual novels usually have their regular font size smaller than this game.
Just a silly suggestion, but maybe after when Floyd says, "I think this will be a great partnership", or whatever he said, you could have him show a smile. I don't know if he's so stoic that he doesn't show much emotion, but I think that would be a nice touch.
Besides that, fantastic work Mabit! Can't wait to see more!
P.S. if you want someone to help with editing the script, I would love to help with this!
