itch.io

(Your time spent writing candid replies to others and myself is commendable!)

All of the writing I have done my entire life has been freelance and voluntary. Despite being praised straight into heaven at times, I never went as serious as you have even though there is a lot out there. But this I know; your 'problem' as a talented artist is that just like Rembrandt and van Gogh, you do not consider the frame your product ends up in or how it will be attached for display. Starry Night in a butt-ugly frame looks horrendous because that diverts the attention away from where Vincent intended it to be. Presentation needs to avoid distraction at all cost.

Your issue is twofold because it is a combination of beautiful imagery and a written story. As it is now, the crescendo of  emotions coupled with the teasing and sexual tension is amazing. Your intent to follow your heart rather than a fast buck is valid but I suspect that the expectations of your followers echo your desire to not let this thing end and die yet.

As you say yourself, the difference between the initial chapters and the rest is obvious. And in the end and as with almost every other accomplished artist; whatever you come up with and create from the soul, we will all love.

hankguichelaar57@gmail.com

You're asking the wrong guy... I know zilch about the technical aspects involved for such an update. But in my uneducated opinion, I would assume that copy/paste and farming out the grunt work to eager volunteers could expedite the process? Having the dialogue at the bottom with the - sometimes - hard to read name of who's talking was somewhat of a distraction, at least for me. It also caused me to 'race' through the first two chapters. (As you accurately pointed out in one of your remarks...) Since that seems to be a commonality among the ranks of your fans,  t h a t  may be the cause? On the other hand, text balloons would require a work-around to process name changes (Mom-Fucker/Max/Ash, for example) but there's a solution for that. I did become attached to the characters and by chapter 3 actually started to give a shit what would happen to them. And I'm not sure what your plans are but you could keep this thing going for a long time.  Heartstopper (Netflix) apparently is shifting focus away from the first season two main characters and that could be a distinct possibility for Straight!? - Book 2? Let the boys live in some summer break bliss as supporting cast and spin a tale around the other characters your fans really like? I'll shut up now. Thanks for the fast reply! Hank

Finished the 'game' way too fast but enjoyed every bit of it. I'm also a total sucker for happy endings! All good. Only observation: the dialogue covers a great deal of your art... did you ever consider balloons for the text, instead?