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Grayson of Grey Sun

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A member registered Mar 17, 2021

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Had a massive review written, but the review thingy is completely FUCKED and wouldn't let me submit it as a review and it ALSO doesn't allow copy-pasting so I guess I'll just put this essay-length review in the comments.

Most of the time, I tend to avoid porn "parody" games because I've never really liked them. I tend to vastly prefer playing NSFW games that have original plots or settings. This game was an exception, because I had to doubletake at its name. Don't get me wrong, I've seen various erotic FNaF parodies in the past, like Five Nights in Anime or the more recent Frenni Fazclaire's Nightclub, but I spent a solid minute just giggling at the name "Five Nights at Fuzzboob's." Goddamn Fuzzboob's. That sounds like an insult that a Nickelodeon sitcom bully character would say and I fucking love it. "Yeah, why don't you say that to my face, fuzzboob?" So because I was just baffled by the name, I thought "what the hell" and downloaded this game.

On the outside, it appears to be a fairly faithful adaptation of the original Five Nights at Freddy's, albiet with busty furry waifus instead of uncanny robot furries, but after having beaten all 5 nights... it is way more than that. First, I suppose I'll address the sex appeal.

I think the designs for the girls are done really well. Something I've always thought about Five Nights in Anime's designs was that they were too... human, I guess? They were obviously designed in a way where they are supposed to be anthropomorphic animals, but their faces are all just... generic anime girls. I know that it's probably just the anime aesthetic, but something about those designs has never really clicked for me. These designs, on the other hand, they click. I think it's the art style. It's cartoony, but it feels adaptable. The characters weren't just lounging around in every camera striking sexy poses, they felt like they had personality outside of being sexual. Stuff like Chica admiring the plushie, Bonnie holding up a cartoon sign with changing text, the way Bonnie just breaks to tune her guitar. I feel like there are even little details that may not have been intended but do great at establishing personality for them. The thing I noticed was that Freddy seems the most determined to get your ass (and dick) compared to the other girls. Whereas Bonnie, Chica, and Foxy all have moments of being distracted in the camera feed, Freddy is almost always focused on getting to your office. She's constantly smirking into the camera or doing something lewd in front of it, giving her this undying confidence and making it feel like she's the biggest threat just from looking at her. The only instance of her not doing that is when she's right outside your office, eating the Special Sauce, but even then I feel like you could read it as confidence. Either as her being so confident that she's taking a snack break right before getting you, or as her intentionally trying to distract you. Above all else, though... I found the character designs both sexy AND cute. I think that's the best thing the character designs do. They still feel endearing, even without the sex appeal angle. Really great all around. The "jumpscares" and "death" screens were also done really well. The "jumpscares" are largely silly. Stuff like Freddy going "rawr," Bonnie's ears poking up from below the screen, or the way Foxy stares wide-eyed at you just really brought a smile to my face, it's really cute. The "death" screens were fine, interestingly enough, my first death was to Golden Freddy because I couldn't figure out how to get her to leave, although I could never figure out what the 2 was in the other girl's sex scenes. Is that something yet to be added, or do I need to do something to unlock them? I was also kind of surprised to find that Foxy wasn't topping. I expected with Phone Guy's description of her wanting to "use your ass" as a fleshlight and the character design in general, that she would have been the one on top, although that's just a minor inconsistency, maybe her "jumpscare" is supposed to be her changing her mind about using your ass, I dunno dude, I'm just here for the funnies. Oh right, the funnies.

This game is fucking hilarious. See, I feel like porn parodies suffer from two common issues. Some games take themselves too seriously, which is really dumb since the idea of taking a pre-existing franchise like... I dunno, Zelda and making it revolve around sex is silly. But then other games don't take themselves seriously enough and then it just feels like the games are just tiptoeing over any context or story just as an excuse to get to the sex scenes (although honestly that's more of a writing problem than specifically a porn parody problem). This game, though, strikes the perfect balance. The characters, plot, and overall concept are really silly when you think about it. Evil furry sex robots are trying to kill you at a... sex pizzeria? But then the gameplay helps ground everything. Despite the silly concept, this is still a Five Nights at Freddy's game. Watch the cameras, don't get caught, and maybe you'll see the next night. The humour also acts as a motivator. I really wanted to reach the next night not just to see how things were gonna play out or just to say I did it, but because I really wanted to hear what Phone Guy was gonna say to me. It's such an amusing concept, that he's so butthurt over you not answering that he spends his calls insulting you and calling you names. He was a pleasure to listen to from start to "finish" (still haven't beaten Night 6 or 7) and there's so many funny little things that he says. Then there's things like the little cameos that show up. Was not expecting to see Ankha, Toriel, Midna, and certainly not goddamn swole as fuck Markiplier randomly show up on the cameras, and let's not forget that a certain Mr. Astley makes a cameo (was really expecting the song to play when that happened.) Everything just made me want to play more, and by the end of it I was grinding my ass to try and beat at least Night 5.

The gameplay is... well, Five Nights at Freddy's. It's not an exact copy, but it's pretty goddamn faithful. There were some inconsistencies I noticed, such as the Golden Freddy poster not changing when you flip up the camera (only doing so when you switch to a different camera and switch back) which resulted in my first death in the game, and the fact that Freddy eventually pulls down your screen if she gets into your office (something Freddy is incapable of in the original game as far as I know) which resulted in a particularly disappointing 5AM failure during my Night 5 attempt. Interestingly enough, I do think that despite the designs and humour, the game does effectively create dread. You get so wrapped up in watching the cameras and doors that when an animatronic eventually does get into the room, it makes you jump. Regardless of Freddy going "rawr" or Bonnie giggling at you, it took me off guard because I was so concerned with the gameplay. Near the latter nights especially, I found myself especially tense. I wasn't afraid of the setting or characters, I was afraid of having to start over. That being said though, there were a few times during my playthrough where I did feel a chill go up my spine. The first encounter with Golden Freddy was especially panic-inducing. I just flailed about wondering why the camera trick wasn't working, and then when she stood up? It was shockingly effective at creating  fear. And then there's Freddy's CAM3 pose. Like yeah, she's mugging the camera and fondling herself, but her expression just gave me this "OH FUCK" moment, and not in that way. It adds to the visual characterization of Freddy I brought up earlier. It's great as is now, but I look forward to any potential updates or patches that may help make achieving a 100% a little bit easier for people like me who suck at video games.

Overall, I think the game is really great! I look forward to seeing what else you folks put out. I'm probably gonna keep trying at Night 6, but maybe after a quick break. I don't know if my heart can take this stress.