Alright, I usually do not make comments about games because it's usually the same old things but THIS game. It's different, I can tell you worked hard on it, so I wanted to comment to talk about what I think.
So, character stories are hard to write. This is because the story is determined by the characters and what they do and how they react to things, there is very little outside forces. It can make it seem like its dragging, but you were able to craft a really well written story and it captured my attention. it's one of the first visual novel type stories where i barely ever skipped. All of the dialogue was interesting but also felt natural and kept me interesting, but the best thing was the characters, so I'll go over the main four.
Zack is probably the best main character i ever seen that's not just you. Usually in games where you are controlling another character, they are either a unnatural goody guy who is unnaturally happy and optimistic about everything and just comes in and fixes all of everyone's problems or a blank board who doesn't have a single personality trait but everyone loves them. But Zack? Zack is real, his problems his emotions are real things that many people face. i was playing the chapter where he confessed that he hated being gay and i bawled my eyes out because I felt the exact same way. At a certain point i started to just root for zack and is happiness because if he could be happy than maybe I and other people could even if he's just fictional lol.Idk, and the QUOTES. i feel my inner walls and resistances collapse around me and run like sand through my fingers. Bro I'm using that, that's top tier writing. Best character by far.
So personally, I don't like the straight dude going gay stereotype that's in every game. Tbh it is what made me take so long to play this game. But for what the stereotype is Braden does it well. I like the fact that he wasn't aggro about it and his concerns about not feeling gay made sense. Anway's yeah, he's hot insecurities in all. I'm really glad you changed his design tho because the twink look is not my type lol. His scenes are great, I love how flirty he is when he's comfortable.
I think everyone here loves ash, i do too. He's pretty unique and his struggles is something i bet others actually deal with. He's funny, a breath of fresh air honestly. we need some breather and comic relief. Yeah Great character
idk how to spell his name now that i'm off the game but zach friend is someone i think everyone needs in life. He's just a good guy, too good of a guy at times. I'm glad we got to see more of his problems in the later chapters so he can seem more real.
I love all the characters and love how they interact together; their dynamic is great. they make for a interesting story.
nsfw scenes, they aren't the main part of the story, they are nice but its more added stuff. honestly tho, none of them was really provoking until the shower scene. That was amazing, I'm really glad that you let us choose and about that. I hope you let us choose if there is a final sex scene where they go all the way. personally for me, i like bottoming and enjoy reading those scenes more. I was a little bummed that braden was a small 'twink' who looked super young and zack said "I'm a top" and the focus was mainly his ass but after zack started accepting he could be a bottom and than braden grew it gave me hope :). If we could pick which position that would satisfy everyone but I'm fine with it if Zack just bottoms lol. Of course not gonna downgrade it if he tops only as well.
My only criticism are pretty simple. I do think the start could use some work. there is no tutorial so when the choices on what to do you are just running around like a headless chicken until you pick all the options. Than this option completely disappears at the end where you aren't choosing what to do at all. i think maybe adding some required story beats in the beginning for direction and slowly working towards more and more would make it less jarring. or maybe any type of prompt in the beginning explaining how to progress.
The rock scene after he catches braden in the wrestling locker room zack talks about a moment where he almost *R word* Braden that i never experienced. I assume it was the choice in the beginning to be respectful or pervy. I picked respectful and it looked like he wasn't thinking about anything or didn't even get close and just went back to sleep. idk if it's supposed to happen on both routes or maybe i just skipped it but just wanted to say it unless it was missed.
Ernie disappeared :( I know that he wasn't really important and i don't really care that much but I did like him lol. I was stuck at the beginning for a while and was just talking to him every day so I got attached.
But yeah, really small criticisms that don't really effect my score on the game. It's really good, good enough for me to want to support you on patreon. so yeah keep doing what you doing, i think if you wanted to you could get super huge, you're writing is better than 90% of this genre for real.