Love love love the rewrite. I love how we got to see more of Roxanne and Isma. And the situation when Isma and the other person come in seems a bit more plausible to me.
Though, I have one main complaint in which you don't always start a new paragraph when a new person is speaking. Just makes it a bit confusing seeing two (or more) people speaking in the same paragraph.
And another very minor one is the amount of '...' I see. I just think there's a bit too many, but that's just my personal preference.