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Funkymonkeyjedy

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A member registered Jan 05, 2023 · View creator page →

Recent community posts

To date, every chapter done has felt like so much attention to detail was given to them. That being said, I'm sure most fans will agree, I for one will not be bothered with delays in order to polish off the details. As the saying goes "quality over quantity". Take the time you need, I am not going anywhere!

You guys keep knocking these out of the park!

Thanks for the update, I'm really exited for it, and keep up the great work!

(1 edit)

This VN had so much potential...
The way the story was written is, hummm, horrendous. That's as politely as I can put it.

I'm sorry for being harsh in my post, perhaps I should have held back until further into the story and I'm trying to do just that. But the whole theme just feels downright 'creepy'. I'm really hoping that by the time I reach the end, I'll end up hating myself for my first comment and perhaps I will. but so far.....

I think what really bothers me is more centered around alot of the phrasing used. Many things could have been written differently without sacrificing the actual story intent and not come across as a walking sexual crime scene.

I suppose I'll just have to keep pushing on. 

I know this isn't how things work, but for what it's worth, if I was part of CDPR, I'd be honored with that reference!

I really can't wait to get on Discord with y'all. But alas, I have a few things currently preventing me from making that leap. Just gota deal with a few other things before really indulging. Looking forward to getting to know the community. 

;)

Welp!

To be honest, The description looked interesting. I'm roughly 30 mins into the story, and already I feel regret paying for this game.

The story and the writing feels like it's right out of sex offender's fantasy diary.

Keep the money and please use it to get professional help. Game or not, this shit is not normal!

*sigh*

(1 edit)

Ok!! I'm sorry for posting yet again, but you devs are really something else!

You lure me in with an awesome story, and more than my money's worth in content, and still has more coming. And now I was just about to play through a third time. And this is the main menu screen I'm greeted with.

A Witcher3 reference! I fucking LOVE you guys! hahaha.
<3 <3 <3

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Thx for at least taking the time to read my comment. And I could spend alot of time picking at what I think you're wrong about, but I don't think that would be productive as we're all allowed to interpret the story line and character arcs as we wish. So Instead of pointing out more obvious misreads, I'll be perfectly happy with "agreeing to disagree" with you. 

I respect that you yield the results that are most logical for you. Either way, I'm sure we'll still find plenty to enjoy out of it regardless.  I just hope you're still able to enjoy the rest of the story. 

As for me, I just love Jaye, and all other chars. I even love to hate Christian even if I suspect his role will be pivotal and actually change MC's opinion of him in the next chapter. just a suspicion I have. The writers are crafty buggers.  ;)

In any case, thanks for the exchange of opinions. 

peace.

;)

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This VN is by far the best one I've played yet, so when Chapter 7 comes out, I'll happily fork out another $15 for it. The writing, grammar, plot and characters are all on point.

Also, I love the little cameo in the very last scene of chapter 6, where you see Christian reading his news paper watching the 2 officers grab that assassin. you can read on the front page of his news paper about Lexi getting engaged, from "Leap of Faith". And I noticed that same thing done from LoF about Jaye. Very cool!! actually gave me goosebumps. lol


2 thumbs up
5 out of 5 stars!

Oh, and I am working on that discord thing.. 

;)

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I think you completely misread Jaye, Christian was *never* Jaye's Boyfriend.

I think you need to replay those scenes and actually read the dialogs a little more closely. Because she very clearly mentions that she felt sorry for Christian after having met him in the school's infirmary with injuries from being mistreated by his father for being gay (recall when she points out 'cigarette burns'). And getting thrown out of his home for it. Then Jaye mentions that she felt sorry for him and invited him to her home to give him a chance to vent about his problems, and then that's when things got 'dicey'. 

As for her attitude, I think the story writer really did his homework on the psychological behaviors of people and how some deal with rejection and sexual/emotional tensions. I've personally witnessed similar events before, just not between actual siblings (not that Jaye and MC are actual siblings, I'm not sure how siblings with ZERO blood relations are considered as actual siblings. But for the sake of the story I'll let it slide hehe). And I think she is very well depicted. And her behavior checks-out. 

Also, about her relationship with Tara (her best friend), Tara is not gay and neither is Jaye. Again, I strongly urge you to go through the story once more and actually pay closer attention to the dialog details.

as for Jaye being lazy and not working, you really missed alot of text haven't you? because again she points out she worked as a barmaid. I don't know how you can even remotely conclude that she leaches off her parents for money, but that strangely sounds like work to me....

If you play the game constantly skipping ahead by mashing the "CTRL" button, I can understand how you ended up in china using a map for Australia!  Just sayin'.

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It's an interesting concept, with a ton of potential, all except for the writing. The writing needs to get thrown onto life support desperately. No I'm not trying to take a 'dump' on whoever is responsible for the written story. I'm just saying, the grammar and phrasing, need to be elevated to a level above 6th grade. Especially if you're going to be asking money for this.

Again, I'm not trying to be insulting or anything of the sort. It's a strong effort. Having dabbled in Python, Perl and etc myself, I have a good idea of the work and time required to put one of these stories together, it's not such a simple task even for seasoned programmers, just methodical and mentally exhausting. Specially if you're putting a story together on your own (I don't know if that's the case here or not). So I can easily praise the technical aspect of the work. Just that yeh, even on the more central characters of the story, the writing and phrasing left alot to be desired. 

Bottom line, I still managed to enjoy it. I hope my criticism is taken positively. I still would like to say thank you for the entertainment and I hope my comment will bare fruit in perhaps your next VN.

Peace.

Fmj.


*edit*

Forgot to mention I've only played the first 4 chapters so far. But for encouragement, I will head out to Steam and grab the entire work anyhow and see if perhaps I was just blabbering out of my a**.  ;)

After all, I'm still curious to see which direction the story is intended to take. Also after my above 'critique', I can now move into it with a less critical eye.


*Final edit*

So, finally I've finished the second half of the game, and indeed the writing improves decently in chapters 5-8. I'm happy I got the full VN. No regrets!

 As far as the game story itself is concerned, I give this game a 4/5 stars. I like the characters, the different story plots. But MOST of all, I really respect the fact that a strong amount of restraint was exhibited where the lewd scenes are concerned. Not over done and not done in a way that ruins the uniqueness of the story.  Also, I really loved the Cameos presented, IE: Jaye from "Chasing sunsets" and some others I forget. And I noticed the same in CS referring to when Jaye gets to meet Lexi, very cool!

A surprisingly captivating story, even though you don't get to make many choices in the beginning, I found myself immersed in the story almost instantly. That 'ski lodge' bit, kinda hit close to home, only in my case, brought back long lost memories of summer camp. Eh!

My only 'suggestion' I'd ask for would be an option to skip the lewd scenes. Specially once you've seen them, being forced through 'em all over again exploring the story for different outcomes, kinda gets "meh-ish" and unnecessary in many cases where there's no meaningful dialogs in those scenes. Just a thought. But it would be appreciated if such an option would get included in the next chapter release.

That said, I'll see this story through to it's end regardless. Great work! Interesting story, so far, interesting character arcs, and the story twists are welcomed even though I can somewhat anticipate what will come next.

I'm curious if there's someplace where ppl can discuss "spoilers" or perhaps even entertain speculations as to what might come next. Can you tell I've been drawn in?  lol

Great work. I await the next chapter with GREAT anticipation. I have too many expectations as to what is about to happen next, I CANT WAIT!