so much work, both in the materials referenced and in compiling them
Great game! cant wait to run it!
Id like to say, i think it is not an improvement to remove "mad". for one thing, "drained" is a much weaker term, and it is not at all clear how it differs from exhausted, except that it involves will rather than strength. it is stated to be a "serious" condition, which exhausted is not, though if they are degrees of the same thing, exhausted sounds stronger. it doesnt give a clear idea how "drained" is to be roleplayed, while "mad" evokes strong roleplay ideas in most people.
keeping "mad" emphasizes the idea that just about everything in this world is more powerful than a mouse, which seems to be a strong theme of the game. (i suppose others may differ). "drained" doesnt at all evoke this; it seems to evoke the idea that magic is a thing not terribly taxing to the mental tolerance of a mouse.
the connection should be maintained between the "attribute score loss" section and the "magic" section. where before they said respectively "reduced to madness" and "mad condition", now they say "reduced to insensibility" and "drained condition"; there is no longer a clear mechanical or thematic connection between the two. it would sound pretty weak if it said "if WIL is reduced to zero, they become drained".
I like the cthulian vibes of having madness as an explicit possiblity, but if you are intent on excluding it, i suggest replacing the "drained" condition with the "insensate" condition (or some synonym). It maintains the clear connection to "reduced to insensibility", and is much more obviously a mental condition, a failure of will. "insensate" would mean the mouse is confused, not fully sensible, has lost critical thinking, isnt acting rationally.
alternate terms could be: senseless, insensible, witless, irrational, stupefied, panicked, stricken, spooked, shell-shocked, harrowed, perturbed, scared shitless, hysterical, stunned, timorous, frantic
These suggestions are given with the greatest respect for your work on this excellent rpg.
This is really cool!
A couple questions/comments
Maleficence of the wastes p says pupils become golden like a wolf. Do you mean irises?
For the goat legs maleficence, goat legs aren't precisely backwards from human legs. The equivalent of the knee is just really high up and the hocks (apparent backward knee) is really the heel. It seems even better to describe it this way, but idk if you want to.
For mlfcnce of the weird 2, what do you mean by 'idols of jungian manifestation?'
while I dont mind the change you made, i should tell you that you didnt use a racist term. it is common knowledge that 'coon is short for raccoon, and the fact that it has in the past been used for racist comparison does not deligitimize the contraction itself. 'coon hunting was a common practice, and i have found no evidence of the phrase being used as a racist euphemism. I am guessing you were influenced by the reference to 'coon hunting in the film "true grit", where it is clearly not a racist usage.
insofar as people nowadays see " 'coon" and think only "racist", they will misunderstand things like " 'coon hunt" and see racism where there is none, historically and currently. censoring the term only strengthens the racist element. the only way to fix this would be to use the term in its legitimate form.
that being said, i can agree with your decision to remove it. there is no reason to host socio-linguistic drama in our hobby's publications.