Pardon any mistakes I have missed. I am quite tired since I've made this short review.
Finished reading the new build, and I have a few comments I have to make for the team.
I almost thought you were going to follow in the footsteps of the analog horror 'The Painter'. It was popular for the super unsettling descriptions, which hit hard in the beginning. However, the more you watched the series, the more boring it became. You became desensitised from all of those sick descriptions. What made it famous was the primary factor for what killed the series.
The first hallucination was done extemely well, but the second one didn't hit as hard as it did before. I can't put my finger on how I would improve it in the first place, sadly. Just going with gut instinct; I think I simply expected something similar to the first hallucination. Same goes with the dream hallucination. The dream hallucination felt a little jarring when introduced -- Plus, it didn't feel too shocking in it of itself. Another comment about the dream, I also found it a little difficult to visualise the scene in the first place.
In the second hallucination, it became glaringly obvious that these weren't simple hallucinations. When the protagonist decided to search up her name, I didn't really get that 'Ooooohh! That does sense!' Instead, I was only confirmed with something I already knew. It was the same as zoning out of a conversation, and only saying 'Cool' and 'Yep'. However, contradictory to the plainness I felt, it still managed to hook me for the next build to come out.
All of this could be just me, but every piece of feedback can help immensely. But don't forget that these are just opinions -- not a summary of what everyone thinks of it. I am not entitled to make a final say on your behalf, or anyone elses opinion.
I love this VN so much, and it has so much potential. I want this to be the best story it could be. I wish you all the best of luck, for both Ari and the team. Stay safe.
TL:DR: The hallucinations are losing the emotional weight they once had, comparing the both of them to the first and the second hallucinations.
Also, do yall have a public discord? It would be neat if I could drop in and say hi.
Just curious, but on android when Arvo first enter his room, you don't get any options to visit either Lake, Mikko, and maybe none, unlike on windows, where you do.
My author, you made me choose whether to brush me teeth now or after breakfast. And the fact that Dan forgot to brush his teeth *after* breakfast. I sure hope Hank doesn't mind stinky breath. To the Holt's home!
When Arvo takes his first picture in the camp, he captures an eagle in the corner of his photo. Right after this, after his nap, the title card appears. The eagle is also in the top right corner of the title card.
You just healed me. I have re-read this so many times that the intro was burned into my skull. Hell, I even memorised the 'We're Ships At Sea' poem off my heart.
Edit (Very small spoiler):
It always nagged me that Mikko somehow brought all that music equipment with one hiking bag before the intro change. Even Arvo mentioned it, bug got waved off by Mikko. Glad that can be explained now, hehe.
I hope you have an excellent time writing, Madeye. Create something beautiful in your own eyes. But never forget -- know your limits. Please don't burn out like the many artist and writers I see do.
Finally finished Devon's route. Got to admit, it certainly had a different flavour than what I thought it would be.
I love how each route has their own uniqueness, rather than one defined theme. Another thing I quite enjoyed was the largely written sections in Devon's route. I don't think some would share the same sentiment; but it's quite a refreshing breath of air that you were to remove the visual part in a visual novel for just a couple moments.
It's getting late... I wish I could write a little more, but I'm not in the headspace for that. Have a goodnight, I wish you have the best night c:
ohmygod mytheory is coming true ohno (Jørgen's update.)
Lets rewrite that absolute mess of a comment I made 10 days ago:
I'll rewrite this AGAIN once I finish reading Dawn Chorus..... and re-read it.
'We're ships at sea, drifting in all directions.'
'The wind blows relentlessly, pulling us apart.'
'One moment I share with you, the next moment we're almost strangers.'
'Is genuine connection ever really possible?'
This is the intro for Dawn Chorus, which I think this is future Arvo's writing. What I think I know is that these poems are canonically made by Arvo, which can be seen in Rune's Day 4 on the bus. However, if Arvo did write this before the science camp, Mikko's route would be the canon route (I don't actually believe this to be the case, there's lots of evidence saying otherwise).
There are two major symbols (I might be missing some), those being the eagle that Arvo took a picture of near the beginning of Day 1, and Saturn by the end of Day 1. The eagle, also being the main logo for Dawn Chorus (I think so, at least), commonly represents strength or courage. It could have a different meaning for the VN. I'm not too sure what it connects to yet, but all I've got is that when you sit with Lake on Day 1, they mention about not seeing much in it, and it being rather ominous. Saturn can either mean responsibility, or time. Time is the most likely, in my opinion. This circles back to the intro poem; 'One moment I share with you, the next moment we're almost strangers.' Everybody has their own lives, and sometimes, life gets in the way.
You can probably connect the dots by now. That being every character will eventually have to break up with Arvo in some shape or form. The first proper mention of this is Jørgen's update, being that he plans to move away eventually.
Hurt or to be hurt. I don't really have a comment on this, but it is a reoccurring theme in the characters. This might be in relation to the characters breaking up.
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I want to try to guess how each character is going to have to go. Take this with a grain of salt, this is merely just me having fun at theorising. This is in the order of the character selection:
Rune: I'm not too sure, to be honest. He became happier with his current life, being who he is. His home is Norway, he lost his opportunity to go to Japan, so anything could happen, really. This is a stretch, but this one might have to be broken up by Arvo himself.
Lake: I don't know what, but I have a strong feeling that this was written more as a happy story so the ending can hit harder.
Mikko: My only theory is that either Arvo gets too scared to continue a relationship between him and Mikko, running away again, or they both can't sustain the relationship, and make a mutual agreement between the two so they leave peacefully.
Bjørn: One out of the four routes I didn't do yet.
Torulf: One out of the four routes I didn't do yet.
Jørgen: Moving away.
Devon: One out of the four routes I didn't do yet.
Klaus: One out of the four routes I didn't do yet.
random food for thought. if you want to theorise yourself, don't look through this. Minor spoilers.
Do note that I am not 100% confident in this, so take this with a grain of salt. Reading back at this, this is NOT well written, holy.
TL:DR: The events of Dawn Chorus is actually a big flashback. Why? I'm not too sure. This one is a massive stretch, but with what is said, it's possible that any love interest that Arvo gets in is not actually permanent.
I was curious about the meaning of this VN, so after a little studying, I quickly realised that chance and time are big concepts in Dawn Chorus. Seeing Saturn will always occur, which also happens to symbolise time. Lets go through the opening intro:
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We're ships at sea, drifting in all directions.
The wind blows relentlessly, pulling us apart.
One moment I share with you, the next we're almost strangers.
Is genuine connection ever really possible?
All I know is that I'd give all I have for just a moment of it.
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As some people know, Arvo writes some poetry on his phone. You can see this near the end of Rune's day 4 where the both are on the bus returning from the city. And knowing that, I get the strong feeling that this was written either before the camp or after the camp.
"One moment I share with you, the next we're almost strangers." If Arvo written this before the camp, he could be referring to Mikko, but that only applies if Mikko's route is the canon ending, but I doubt that.
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"We're all lost in this world, walking blindly in the dark, colliding with each other. Our lives are a series of random encounters that shape our cause."
"Are we swimming, or are we carried along by the currents?"
These quotes are said right after the intro, in Arvo's dream of winning the Nordic Street Photo Award. These refer to chance, and question whether if fate exists or not. On Lake's route, they question about reincarnation, a second chance, essentially. Jørgen responds with just being happy with your current life.
I'm still trying to get more info about all this, since I don't have a lot of evidence.
