Thank you, Astelius, for taking the trouble to respond it is appreciated.
I totally understand what you mean about disliking immersion breaking. So those potential ideas you are thinking about implementing make sense. I particularly like the ambient characters idea since it would make sense with the MC living with their dear friend. She already as the option to make them coffee each morning maybe that could be worked into a hint system? Particularly if the player (like me) forgets what they are supposed to be doing.
One thing that occurred to me whilst reading is that the MC already has meds, and feels like they are struggling with mental health (Or struggling with the hidden reality). So something else that could easily fit would clickable diary on their bed; something as part of a scene rather than a separate system. I was just thinking that people struggling with mental health are very often told to keep diaries by doctors as a way to help keep things grounded. Something where the MC goes 'oh yeah, I got to remember I need to X or Y'
Anyway, really looking forward to wherever you take the story and enjoying the fact that you are making something a bit different in terms of setting and style.
Fantasypilgrim
Recent community posts
I really enjoyed the story as it is shaping up so far. For me personally, I am far more interested in the wrestling side than the incest storyline though - especially as that aspect is really full on - so I will just see how that goes for the future, but I appreciate your writing, characterization and the passion you show about wrestling world context.
Despite not originally intending this to be a visual novel on renpy you also are doing an amazing job, and I think the renders with the facial expressions are really good. Any comments are just my thoughts and I completely respect this is your project.
--- Mild Spoilers---
Some feedback.
* I think perhaps some of the threatening behavior by the main character and the sister really gave a bad impression about them.
If the story was more comical then I could just pass it off as slapstick yandere behavior, but because you had just established carefully the reality of toxic aggression and violent threats it felt really awkward. You had just shown rightly how bad the father was for behaving in in this way. Then the next thing the [sister] is threatening a random girl with smashing her with a chair for talking to the MC, and later the MC is threatening to break some guys legs for showing even a passing interest in the sister. In the context of you trying to tell a serious story with consequences about behavior this makes them look a bit unhinged and I instantly thought 'Well, they certainly inherited some things from their messed up dad.' If that is important for the story then at the very least it is perhaps something that needs to be seriously called out. As I would as a reader suggest it looks like the first seeds of them ending up like their father.
* I also think in general choices will be important and you should do you're best to factor them in. I accept that the parent and the older sister character are obligatory romances, I am not really a fan of the mum as a romance, but for the sake of the story I get it, but I think too many forced romances can be quite off-putting.
I really liked the unique atmosphere of this visual novel, and I am totally intrigued at seeing a scenario that uses a more lovecraftian story.
My main trouble so far is I was totally confused with what I was meant to be doing. Who I was supposed to be talking to in order to advance the plot in the beginning etc.
So maybe have an in game quest book, or hint page would be really helpful.
Apologies for any offense given. It wasn't intended.
I just thought it was abandoned since there had been no new news for quite some time, such as a post mentioning that it had been been placed on hold. I also checked on the public patron posts as well. I imagine it is a conclusion that many might have reached. I definitely understand about it being an indie production and it will take the time it takes.
Thank you for taking the trouble to reply.
I have a question having played through MIST which rather heavily leaned into dom-sex will this be the same? I really enjoyed the games story, the characters, and was sincerely impressed in how much effort and systems you put into creating the game and narrative.
However, after a while the sex scenes with their particular characterization of the MC switched me off. Not kink shaming anyone else, or wanting to deprive them of what they enjoy in a visual novel, but for me because they were mandatory I didn't enjoy the visual novel so much and ultimately could not complete it. So will there be more of a choice to skip the content you don't personally enjoy?
Totally respect if you have a particular vision for the story, and its just not one that works for me, but I thought I would ask, and best of luck with continuing to make really good games.
Thank you for your reply. I very much appreciate it, and I get what you mean about keeping a balance.
Obviously not critiquing other people's tastes, but what you have said reassures me as for me personally its a big turn off to pick a more dom path with a love interest only for the MC to treat someone like shit. Unless they are meant to be on a 'evil route' naturally as then it makes sense. I would have probably bought and continued to follow your game anyway, as I think your story is fun, I would just have stuck more rigidly to vanilla routes.
Octavia is an interesting character and well written, character flaws and all, and I look forward to seeing how she develops.
Thanks again, and wishing you the best for the continued production of this story.
Really enjoyed playing the demo, story seems engaging and the characters are really interesting.
A question, you seem to be trying to approach the relationship dynamics carefully and thoughtfully in this story. So I was wondering if the dominant path can be played as a respectful dominant? I.E someone who is closer to how healthy people (In dominant roles) in the BDSM community are supposed to behave.
By which I mean someone who does respect the idea of, limits, after care and insuring the sub is healthy and happy after a scene? It is something I have noticed that most AVN's completely skip over which tends to make their BDSM scenes look a very unhealthy, and it is why I automatically put Octavia (despite some of the things she said) as a bad potentially abusive dom because she only appears to really care about herself in her relationship dynamics. Her sex games are about enforcing her will, and her status, not about mutual satisfaction.
If not obviously its your game, but I thought I would ask, since the character writing seems to lean more towards three dimensional realism than just porn fantasy.
Bug report.
Playing female character, auntie.
Starting from day 2 there are a couple of insistences where MC is incorrectly identified as a cousin (The first is when clothes shopping with Kayla) , and if you reject Alexis when she propositions you while sleep walking when the MC wakes the picture shown is of a male protagonist with a very obvious phallus.
A less obvious one but Nicole about Alexis she says the MC is the first guy that Alexis has interacted with. I suspect from context that this is a mistake because again it is assuming the MC is male.
Otherwise I am enjoying the plot, and I like the fact that it is slower paced with more character interactions.
And thank you for taking the extra time to reply. Ah, I had missed you had a new chapter that answered my question (apologies.) That's on me for saving it up so I can binge later.
As I said, love your work and I am really looking forward to seeing more of the journey of all your characters, and also giving your second project a go when I have the time.
Hi,
Wanted to say I really enjoyed this visual novel. Like others have said so rare to find a story that can be erotic and titivating, but doesn't feel awfully demeaning to those involved. As a hopefully reasonably well adjusted human being its nice not to be stuck with a default protagonist that is a scumbag. So lots of thumbs up.
I did have one question about the future story. Unless this counts as critical spoilers in which case ignore. Is it set in stone that Violet stays with her boyfriend? I just honestly do not like him particularly. I have been mostly playing it as Violet refusing his attempts to make things more kinky, and it always feels like he is trying to subtly push against her boundaries. Not full on gaslighting, but something feels off.
I admit I just want Rita to steal all the girls away ;-) because she is such a darling cutey. Obviously, this is your story and I am only giving my personal reaction to the character. Thanks again for making an engaging story, and I am looking forward to coming back to it when there is more to read.
Hey, brilliant story. I think I hit a dead-end so I just wanted to alert you. I went to the sunken city with Myka (Lost how you spell it.) And there was no where else to go. I am sorry that I cannot remember every decision that lead there, but I had been learning archaic as well. Really love this superbly written.
Just quickly to say thank you for your very helpful response, and for not just calling me a numpty. Haha believe it or not, but despite having played tones of RPG Gamemaker games that is the first time that has happened to me. Must have been a fluke that it was the first time my mouse was in the way. Great game looking forward to seeing more. In terms of the characters and their updating replies as time passes it reminds me very fondly of Trails in the Sky; which in terms of side NPC development is simply one of the best. So big thumbs up! I just wanted to note that as a detail of this game as it is that kind of extra effort that sometimes fails to get the recognition it deserves.
Hey, enjoying the game so far. Nice to play games like this where the lead character is not just a humongous jerk. I hope he does not become that way later on. -Shudder- too many of these saucy kind of games seem to feature deeply unlikable male leads. Anyway to the point. I may have hit a glitch because I am a bit confused. When fighting the cockatrice mother for some reason the healing herbs start targeting her rather than the heroes (Which makes the fight kinda hard). I think this is something about how guard works maybe? Also, is the Juggernaughty swing supposed to do something about the guard? Because at the moment it doesn't. I am running this on a gaming PC.
Thanks for all the hard work going into this game. I love all the little comments on the various things lying around; it makes the world feel interactive and lively.
A huge amount of promise in this. I am really looking forward to how it develops. The writing seems intriguing and you manage the evocative emotions well, the panic caused by the surging crowd etc.. Obviously, very early days so I expect a lot will change and improve.
. A big one that I am sure you will tackle is that the background to the inn's rough and cheap room and the bedroom you end up in is the same. Really hope this goes far as I love these kind of enticing tales with a different take on the heroic fantasy genre.
One question. You have written that this spans most of chapter one will subsequent chapters be longer? Or is this intended to be more of a compact tale?
Just adding my bit to helping everyone can see this is a great game to try.
As I said in my comment review (which I intend to update when I get to play a later version.) I found this a very enjoyable experience. The art-style, with the animations, and writing gave it a beautifully eerie atmosphere very dreamlike which, naturally, suits the story. The drawing style reminded me a little off a storytellers puppets, in a good way, stylized and quite beautiful. So I am really looking forward to how this develops. Particularly looking forward to meeting the priestess. (I studied spirituality and have a lot of interest in that).
I like how the main character can develop more empathy but does not stop being analytical. It meant that there was not that awful swing with choices where a character can feel just warped between extremes. Every choice felt like an authentic development of a single well written personality.
I am personally a very visual kind of person so I think less about the music, but certainly nothing felt wrong about how it supported the telling of the story.
For the moment I am trying to hold back as I know I will frustrate myself if I hit the content wall. But probably I am going to dip back in soon as it really was unique.
Wish I could do more to support this project, but certainly happy to give it the full thumbs up. Keep doing what you are doing it is highly enjoyable and your effort and art is appreciated.