The bones of this story are fantastic. But I would argue you are letting a strong hook get drowned out by cheap cliches and clunky dialogue.
Not my cup of tea, but it locked me in from the start. The flow is infuriatingly smooth. Strong execution!
You didn't waste time on massive lore dumps. That final exchange is absolutely devastatingg. Loved it
A doomed, oath-bound last stand. Building a knight with a severe stutter who lets his violence do the talking is an incredibly sharp character that I like.
I am an absolute sucker of gritty sci-fi. Deadly space rocks and soldiers fighting to the last. Really strong submission!
BRUTAL!
