itch.io

I love your story, it has been something I have been talking about for ages. A game where I can play as a "monster" not only that but I get to play as one of my favorite ones.  I can't wait to see where this goes. Also not to mention the writing is so good, especially given that you are writing from a perspective of something that is humaniodish but not human. I know some writers in my personal life who struggle with writing form the same perspective that you just handled perfectly. The details of having a nest instead of a bed and finding chairs uncomfortable and don't even get me started on that fight scene. 

the only weird thing was that my height was only 5"2, but it kept talking about me as if I was a towering creature tall enough  to look over most creatures. I just attributed it to the character standing more on their snake half when standing still and talking but for things like the scene when the party was walking through town it read, to me, like I could see over characters like Daniel

finally I should leave my lamias description that i made for your story. idk why I just want to. I picked unarmed and stealth as my two first skills, then for my characters appearance I chose hip length light red hair, I imagined that to be a kind of coppery ginger hair. With gray eyes, and sapphire scales, I felt it contrasted the light red hair and it would look great. then for the clothes I chose the goth/punk choice.     

Can you please add a way to restart once you reach a end. I have to clear my browsers data every time to restart this game.

I genuinely hope that you do more with these characters and don't leave them. At the same time the shortness has a bittersweet effect to it, so it's not a completely bad thing if this is all the story these characters get. Also I liked the detail of adding a silhouette off centered and layered over a characters sprite when they are talking directly to each other. It's not something I've seen done too often, or this well.

 Idk why this game is being weird, but the issue actually started with the extraction of the files. If you use the extraction software that comes with windows it'll spit this error at you 

Error 0x80010135:  Path too long (I didn't know there were so many bundles that had this issue and I don't know how to copy and paste the file name from the error so I've typed it all out by hand. I game up after a certain point all are .bundle)

• defaultlocalgroup_assets_all_488aeca0e7acb6b76f8e0e1a09a48e4.bundle

• 384fe8bde3e4b2920b4759e552fc8da_unitybuiltinshaders_e464b55bbae965488de68f4327e7f930.bundle
• hanna_c5a60e7cf6f1f4bcce2f4c1459d98b2.bundle
• summer_1c5e70380f15d58a434d4fa7af317f07.bundle
• ma_9048f8bd213c456bf5e3bbd0c933d581.bundle
• izzy_5a461e6fb2237cebeec07852e8d37ea6.bundle
• curiosity_e17eea681885bfdd41914d36c02f0261d.bundle
• quinn_b6e4d95bc9998a1a5bff5e8942ad8efe.bundle
• oletha_1b9c80d0e323ace4b59f7ba6fcf8d349.bundle
• mom
• colorgradinghdr_
• autoexposure_
• vignette_

and a few files that didn't give me a error code

just check all the bundles.  This problem can lead to the game never loading the main menu, thus leaving the player unable to start the game. Luckily this all has a simple solution use a program like 7zip and your golden. 

The other problem was my game just crashing after Olethas, I think, section. It didn't give me a error popup. I just left the old ladies house and got on the bus or whatever and the game decided it was done and I didn't need to see any more. Honestly I haven't tried booting up the game because during the time it was late and I have been busy since then.

so, a problem that happened, every time I picked up a trinket it filled up all my trinket slots with the trinket I just picked up. It replaces any trinket I had with the new trinket. For example I had a skull, and a empty slot so I tried to pickup a glove and it gave me two gloves and removed my skull. 

Also whenever I die the restart doesn't work and I have to refresh the browser.

Yes, it worked. 

Due to being on a laptop though, and having terrible luck, I could not get past the third wave.  Not to say that it was for a lack of trying I took it as a personal challenge to not be bested but in the end the game won. I like the premise and its simple nature texture wise. It was a lot of fun and if you wanted to build upon it further it would be of my suggestion to look upon games like Prefect Tower II. The only thing I had a gripe with was that the game didn't give me any chance to build up upgrades and it always felt I was far to underpowered, even in the first level. I understand the intent was to show the game wasn't holding back. I would suggest however that you throw a single higher health enemy at the player, so the player still gets the same sense of threat from the enemies. For example give it enough health to just barely get to the base, or even takes one heart, without the player intervening. Then have the enemy health decrease as you get further till it's to a normal amount and increase the amount of enemies to acording level number.  After all the real danger seems to be in the amount of enemies. It is your game so do with my advise as you want, I still had fun in any capacity.     

well that would be one of the ones I didn't

I tried to get past this issue like 4 times and I've hit nearly every button on my keyboard. After getting to the first upgrade screen I don't see how to leave it, so I just get stuck unable to do anything. 

so after I get a shield it kinda broke, i no longer revolved around the boss and would go outside the circle. 

ok, as far as visual novels go this is shaping up to be a wonderful one. I have already given the game 5 stars. My one question is what is your plan for releasing the game ? Will you release the full game all at once that we have to pay for, or will you develop it and slowly release it as time goes on a service like patreon ?     

idk if its just me, but i can't find the game's executable in its folder after i downloaded and extracted the game.  

I just finished the helpful route, I'll call it that to not spoil much. To any readers of this comment If you feel like playing this with out being spoiled read on at your own risk. 

Being completely honest I first found this game while looking for yuri/GL games. This game surprised me when I first found it and it surprised me while I was playing it. The description made me question if I wanted to play this, not because to content warnings I've experienced most of them first hand. The thing that made me question was the warning that It would be uncomfortable. The story was as promised uncomfy, yet despite this I didn't feel like I wanted the story to stop. This story lived in the discomfort it created and it explored it with seemingly genuine intrigue. In a lot of ways this game had me reminiscing over one of my favorite books "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson. Although both are highly different from one another. One of the main ways they are similar is they both explore the perspective of the student as they go through a life changing event.  

To put it short I thought it was magnificent. One of the better more realistic depictions of how this type of event occurs. All the while maintaining the balance between story telling and realism for intrigue's sake. The main characters thoughts and actions made sense  and I wasn't left questioning why the main character acted the way they did like in most stories I wander through.  

The only question I had was at the end, Lucie mentioned she was a part of the LGBT+ community or something similar to that. Is it wrong to interpret that as she is gay or bi ?   

chapter 1 review-

 This is a very promising game, as I have mentioned already I love that you used one of the lesser talked about scps for the inspiration. I absolutely adore the art style. The story has a lot of promise and I can't wait to see where you choose to take the story. i loved the monster chase section. Overall I had a great time experiencing your story and, as previously stated, I can't wait to see where you take this story.

This however would not be a review if i didn't point out my perceived flaws. One of the flaws was the tactless and juvenile joke, ex the menstruation joke. The joke not only made me, and others, pause because not only did it not fit the tone but it was just a moment where i had to think "really". Another flaw was sometimes you didn't let the main character stew in her fear, ex the moment the character was starting to freak out over the blood you suddenly had the character jump to chiding herself for not acting excited. 

i love that you chose one of the lesser talked about scps for inspiration. I can not wait to play the rest of the story when it comes out. 

Question what's up with the person at, what i assume to be, the end? I did what they said and nothing happened. 

Also I like the game, I can't wait to see where this game goes.

i am supposed be an advertiser for a way less strict site.  Have you heard of lewd corner?  It would give your brand a wider reach and that doesn't hurt and they are willing to link to patreon, discord, or even have the download links direct to the itch page for the game. 

oh yeah, I forgot to ask but have you thought about putting your games up on more than just this site?

i got all the health items. Even the trash can cookies. As for the second bit idk i train one down to the bottom of the yard and some times they forget about me sometimes they chase me for all eternity. It also doesn't help that their hits stuns me and stops me from entering my inventory to make use of my copious health items.  

ok what tips do people have for dealing with the enemies ?  I've made it to the school and have only gotten past the entrance twice, out of a good hundred or so attempts.  Like is there a way to attack enemies or just something I'm missing that would make it easier than fruitlessly trying to guide them to another part of the screen to just end up getting clipped by one and have the rest swarm you ?

ok, I've been trying to write this in a way that doesn't sound like I'm trying to take over your story. In saying that I have had no real success, so I will just write and you can take inspiration from where and what you want if you chose to.

 I love the lighthearted nature the game has. At the same time I think you could use that to your advantage, for example the scene with the gang boss really caught me off guard. The threat he implied about the sister really shocked me, the game before was girl troubles then the threat and back. What I mean to suggest is mix a pinch of salt in the batter, in other words don't be afraid to try darker subject matter. 

for example one potential story line I had running through my head was this. The sister told her brother that he couldn't date her and when he pressures her for why she could either have been honest or said because she wanted this mark to herself. If the second option was picked she would say something like " this way we can get double the money and you can hit another mark" or if the first one is picked she tells him that she has a huge crush on her, no further elaboration. Either option leads to the brother telling her to focus on family and ends with him saying something like " just stay out of my way on this one" to which of course she doesn't and the lighthearted problems ensue. This causes the brother to fall behind on the bosses payments. Eventually during one of the brothers best and closest attempts to get with girl, he cant get the sad look of his sister out of his head begging him not to do anything and right before he can go any further which his plans. He tells her about his sister's crush and everything else. At the same time a sad and dejected sister is walking home, brokenhearted and jealous. Then she gets pulled into passing van. The next day the brother is freaking out and is looking for his sister, and he eventually goes to the girl and asks if she has seen her at school. she says she hasn't and fearing the worst he calls the boss, and is met with the muffled cries of his gaged sister. Skip forward and when she eventually gets free and after resting for a bit, at the girls place since the mob don't know of any ties between the girl or the brother or his sister. The girl comes to check on her, and finds her sitting on the bed with her knees tucked to her chest. When she sits down on the bed, and before she can get a word out, the sister kisses her. After the kiss breaks the sister apologizes and starts telling her how she feels and every dirty little detail about how she tried to stop her from getting hurt.  

idk it was one of the ways I could have saw the story go and I think that it would totally hook anyone, just the sudden 180 from innocent girl drama to gang kidnaping and potential human trafficking. That if done right would demand interest and attention from the audience. 

ok, that was it for my suggestions for now. Sorry about the length and as I said before this is your story. The same story that I will be waiting for regardless if you take my suggestions or not. Thank you for your time.   

I am a simple person to please, and this has pleased me. I do like all the characters, i think the main character is a bit to naive but it has it's charm. The story being in the state it's in right now, largely unwritten/unreleased, has had the writer/storyboarder part of my brain going nuts with where and how the story can unravel. If you want I can share some of my ideas, but if not then I will be happily waiting for the next release of this story. 

Alright, that's kind of what I thought but it just seemed like it ended abruptly. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a bug or something.

I was at Suiko's house and during the flash back it just stops, the part were mc notices they are separated from their sister. There is no button to continue the flash back and nothing loads.