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BinaryHydra

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A member registered Jun 16, 2021 · View creator page →

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Sweet looking ruleset. 

A few notes of construictive criticism:

1. Page numbers, and page references. In several places you reference other sections of the rules, but don't include a page number on where to find them. (see Tier) vs (Tier, Page 8). Think about the flow of when the reader has what information. You describe Starting Gear using ranges, but don't define them until two pages later, and don't include a reference where to find it. Personally I knew what "Close" meant, but you can't assume every reader will.

2. Treasure. The way you have the treasure rules broken up is extremely confusing. On page 10, you have a treasure header which immeditaly references a separate treasure section (with no page number). Once I dug up the other treasure section, half the information is reduntant with the first and the part that isn't 100% would have fit on page 10. If you just move the description of each Treasure tier to page 10, then you have the majority of your treasure information in one place that's much easier to reference. If you would prefer to keep it on page 16, then cut the section on page 10 and add the slots text to the section on page 16.

3. Tier. You have Tier dice, Gear Tier, and Armor Tier as related but separate concepts. I get what you're trying to do, but you're creating a worse version of D&D's Spell Level issue. For Armor Tier, I would recommend just calling it Armor. eg. "A PC with a Tier 2 armor and a Tier 1 Shield has 3 Armor". For Gear Tier, I would suggest calling it Quality. Having it named the  same thing as a player's level strongly implies that they should match, which you specifically state isn't the case.

Good simple hack, I like the way the chaotic magic makes spellcasting feel more unpredictable and dangerous.

Love the cover art

The time stopping with energy for cards system is interesting, but having no ability to do anything except run away when you don't have energy feels pretty bad. Even having a weak basic attack would feel better. 

There's some clear tension between this being a fast paced active game and a more methodical one, and right now it feels like that tension hasn't been resolved

Some of the cleanest layout in the Jam, very professional work. Well done!

Great scenario with a lot of potential energy for the players to kick off the chaos! Love the map, the vivid color scheme gives it a really memorable look

Sweet little bite sized dungeon, love it. The inclusion of the info about where the key is, and what the key goes to is a nice touch 👌

Very clean layout and design. A small detail that I particularly liked was the non-fixed location for Alaxoon. Nice for replay value

Love the descriptions for the creatures, very evocative

Done by the talented Shawn Henry!

https://www.shenry.net/

One of my primary inspirations! And yep, looks like it didn’t save right before I uploaded it. Alas

Thanks much! I wasn’t sure I’d gotten the balance right between too much and too little description, very glad the atmosphere came through

Fun setup for an adventure, and I really like the color scheme. The red and black looks super cool

Well crafted dungeon, AND cheese puns? Count me in!

Well structured, the intro “timeline” and the NPC wants+plan does a good job of setting the stage while leaving enough blanks to fill in.


I like the depth mechanic, was that inspired by the overloaded encounter die?

Great atmosphere and layout. Love the use of classic artwork to capture the vibe of the scenario. I look forward to running a version of this for my players