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BearScars

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A member registered Nov 03, 2022

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Dear DyneWulf,

Thank you for creating Extracurricular Activities! Even more so for creating the character Harold! Even though I am only on my first playthrough, I have to thank you from every aspect of my heart and sprit. I know that you get a lot of praise for the games that you create, and not just this one, but for me, the character Harold, it's more than just words on a screen. Also I have to thank you very much for hiring on CaptainGerBear for the characters. I'm a big fan of his artwork and games. I am happy that he is starting to work with other artist to get more of his artwork out there, I love his art style. I hope that both of you are pleased with working with one another, and that no rift develops between both of you.

Now, I don't care if this is too much information, I, I, want you to know how much your writing for Harold MEANS to me.

I live in Dayton, Ohio. Back in early 2012, I met a man named Robert, that worked at a Kroger(it's a grocery store just in case if you haven't heard of the brand before(I don't know where you live and I'm not trying to pry into your life)I'm just informing you). I have always been a shy person, while there have been times when I verbaly stood up to other people when they were over reaching their authority, when I first saw Robert; he literally changed my personality. My brother was the first to know. After weeks of seeing Robert, and photos were taken of me, my brother noticed that my smile had changed. My smile had pushed further into my cheeks, the cheeks themselvs had moved back and up, and lines had formed moving away from my eyes. I had never been so happy in life.

As the year had passed, Robert and I passed back and forth glances, and in truth, he asked me questions that someone madly in love would only ask. He was unbelievably kind, just like Harold. All that he did when I would see him, made me love him more. I knew right from the start that it was love at first sight, and I think that he did too. As summer was ending, he began to ask me encoded questions to see if I was interested in men, interested in him. And I was, he could of asked me to run off with him at any moment, and I would of, blindly; I had lived an extraordinary life, and to have been with him, would have been... perfection/bliss/living in "Shangri-la". 

September had come and I couldn't take it anymore. If he wasn't going to ask me out, then I was going to ask him. Now, Dayton is filled with a wide varity of people, but I never thought that "the world's oldest brotherhood" would destroy someone's life, let alone mine. I only told one of my friends that I had fallen in love with Robert, because she was a Lesbian, and I had told her that I was Bisexual. Well, that evil group had my phones tapped, and the next time that I was going to see Robert, I had no idea that it was going to be next to my last time.

I had gotten out of my Mom's van and saw him driving past me waving, he drove down the parking lot, stopping at the stop sign. While I did have a bad feeling about that day, I shrugged off that feeling. He was parked there for a long time, and I thought that I should take off my shoe and act like there is something inside of it that I cannot get out just so I can see him a little bit more, and I did notice that he was looking at me in his rear-view mirror. It felt like ten minutes had passed, and I had hoped he would of turned right to loop back arround, but he turned left, to leave the parking lot.

I saw him one last time at a different Kroger, while I was hanging out with a "friend", that was a guild member and plagiarized everything that I said to him about video games. It's strange, most of my "friends" were/are guild members(I stopped talking to all of them after some really bad stuff happened years later). Anyway, one of my other "friends" that worked at the Kroger where Robert had worked at, and I asked him 'what ever happened to Robert?', he told me that he got a promotion and now works at a Kroger in the next county over. A place that I couldn't go to because I could not drive at the time and even now I can't drive.

I was and still am living at home with my parents. I go grocery shopping with my Mom to push the cart and lift anything heavy. I was 22 when I first met Robert, and now that a decade (to the month) has come to pass, I only want to see Robert, I only want to be with Robert. I can understand how this might sound like I'm obsessed with him, but you need to see it from my point of view, I never got to ask him out, reguardless of his answer, it would have closed that book of my life. I never got to say goodbye. I keep having the "rug" pulled out from under me any time I try to do anything by those evil guilders. As bad enough as that all was, I fell into a deep depression that lasted for four years!

In 2016, I started to have anxiety attacks, that would start from the end of June and would come and go until the end of January. Now that I'm 33(my birthday is in the summer(Gemini)), I started to feel the anxiety attack creeping onto me at the end of June and it was stronger then any of the others from before. I thought that I was dying, in truth! So I decided to find some gay furry novel to try and help me through this strong attack and I found your game Extracurricular Activites, and seeing how Harold is just like that man named Robert that I knew, I feel... all of those emotions again. I cried for three days stright because Harold refreshed all of those memories of Robert, and with how much they act the same, I cried because I feel like being with Harold is like the life that I could of had with Robert. The anxiety attacks have stopped since I started to play your game by mid July, and I don't feel clouded or weighed down anymore by whatever numbness that was. I do feel as if some of the main characters dialog is a bit cold(as if he's not devoted to the relationship), however I am having all of these old and new mixed feelings and emotions that I'm having to live with day to day and what will happen in the future from my (peaceful) actions.

Since this year(2022) is the tenth year anniversary of not seeing/being with Robert, I have decided to come out to whatever friends I have left and to my family. I was Bisexual, however about two weeks into July I felt my stright half, die. I know that there will be a massive mess, but I'm ready. I'm ready for whatever aftermath there will be. I had a lot of fun in my life; I got to be in Boyscouts while keeping my sexuality secret, I traveled to many different places that have changed completely or are no longer there, I have met many different people(the ones that are not guilders and know me from keeping me under surveillance) and they have come to understand that am a cool guy because I bring peace and safety to the table first. 

Harold helped wake me up from a devastating loss and the numbness that followed, I thank you for that, I thank CaptainGerBear for ALL of his artwork. I don't know everything of what the future will bring, but this clarity no matter how long it lasts, helps. It's good to feel this open state of mind weather it's a healing process, or something else, all I can do is hope that it's something good. I've been through a lot and I thank you for Extracurricular Actives. I thank you for Harold. I thank you for sharing this game/story to the world, I look forward to the rest of Harold's story ( [SPOILER ALERT] I am at the theater/dinner date night on day 27), and being able to play all of the other storylines.

One thing that's really funny, is when Harold asked the class to write a haiku, my mind immedeatly created one even though I have only seen about two haiku's in my entire life and I would kind of like to know what you(and maybe even Harold) thinks of what my mind created following Harold's asignment that it contain something about autum and winter. 

This autumn is cold.

I will grab some blankets.

Winter has frozen them.

I want you to know that what you have created, has helped someone get their life back in order. The cloud of sadness is gone. I know that I have other problems to conquer in my life, however, I shall use peace and kindness to overcome those when the time comes. And who knows, perhaps they will resolve themselves just as easily as what your game did for me(although that might just be wishful thinking, but, one does never know)!

Finally, I also want to let you know that I have taken some screenshots of Harold and I am keeping them on my phone. 1.) Harolds awkward selfie(I love how CaptainGerBear drew Harold(he's so cute!))   2.) both of Harold's Bear Belly tshirts opitions(who doesn't love to daydream, am I right?)   3.) The main character with Harold at the top of the ferris wheel(I like to imagine that it would of been me and Robert, if things would of happened with him)  Now I understand that you do not want pictures of the game to end up all over the internet, I can fully understand, however I am not posting these or any other up there and if you want me to delete them from my phone I will at your request. Also if you want to share this letter with anyone else like CaptainGerBear, your significant other, your Mom, the people that are paying you to make the game, etc., is up to you(although you could send a copy to CaptainGerBear, because I have no idea how to get in contact with him(I view his artwork on some websites like e621.com, I'm sorry if he doesn't like it, very sorry)). 

Sincerely,

A bear, battered with many stripes(scars)

P.S. I am playing version 1.128, by the way. I wrote this letter in notepad at home over a several of days, so I'm sorry for any spelling errors. I have to send this letter to you from the library because I do not have the internet at home, just on my phone. I hope that this letter of truth has moved you well(into a good place). Many blessings and thanks once again!

P.S.S. I created this Letter August 10, 2022. It is now Oct. 27, 2022. I am sorry that I have not posted this sooner, but life got into a bad way. I have not had much time to finish the game, I know, I hate myself for it, I cannot apologize enough for it. after I wrote this letter, I mentally lost it. I typed a 80,000+ character long letter that I was going to upload on to a popular social media website that starts with the letter f, but I did some research on how long a post can be, and it's way too long. A post can only be 20,000 characters long. So I tryed to make my letter into an image, but with it being so ling, I need enough for it to be readable. looking back at my life while I was writing my letter, I realized that those guilders have been in every single moment of my life, destroying it as I live along it. I really hate them for what they have done to me life. 

I have come to realize that they want me to be with one of their women, not one that is not one of their members, not a man (that's why they took Robert away from me), and non of their male members will sleep with me because they don't like people in the LGBTQ+ community. Just look at whom NASA named their new space telescope after. He belonged to that guild too! They have a heavy presence here in Dayton, Ohio. Just Google Dayton's new city logo. It looks just like that guild's logo. And they stole Robert away from me because they don't want me or anyone else here in Dayton, or the Great Lakes Region, to be gay! I know that this is way off topic, I'm sorry. But, if you don't believe me about the great lakes region thing (and really forgive me about this too, but) listen to the Pope's speech from the last time that he was here in the U.S. He says that he wants all of the wars in the world to stop and what is going on in the great lake region! There is no open war or conflict going on here except for those guilders doing bad things against the LGBTQ+ community!

Now some of you might be thinking that my life is in danger for living here, well it is. I don't have enough money to move away! And even if I did, I would want to take Robert along too. I still don't know where he is. It is now past the 'ten year to the day' marker, and still nothing. I am getting in contact with my local LGBTQ+community centerand seeing if there's anything that they can do! Let me tell you, while all of you take having the internet for granted, I don't have that luxury. I have to got to the library to use their internet. Oh and that reminds me, (it's so funny) this past September the library held a contest for anyone to write a haiku. They did not tell anyone if or what the prize would be. That is why I have waited to post this letter. I only wrote down the haiku section of this letter towards the end of September and I only wrote down my haiku; TODAY! So yeah, it's pretty funny. I know, some of you might not see it that way, it's okay! 

P.S.S.S. It's Nov. 2. DyneWulf. Where ever you are, Thank You for your game. I played some more of it and I'm [SPOILER ALERT] at the part where they are playing Ladders and Lizards. It's a good story so far. I know that the epilogue will have to be paid for, but with what you've created so far; it's worth it. Harold is so caring for everyone. This year has been a heavy hitter for me. I am happy that you created this VN and I am happy that I found it just when I needed it the most in my life. I don't think that I could have lived with what has happened this year. I don't what anyone to know what it's like to have your love intrest lured away like mine has been. Getting through this Oct. has been tough. I have not been sleeping well. And that's my fault. I have been getting very little sleep from writing letters to people that either need to know what has happened to me or, seeking help. I have always been a person that knows how to get problems solved, but with what has happened from 2012 and onward, I realize that I need to find help from sources that can help me with my life's mess. 

I know that it will not be easy. I am already starting to feel a pain in my heart, literally! I feel as if (forgive me if anyone takes this the wrong way) I know what it's like to have my lover die on me. I feel in a deep love with Robert, so mush that my body was releasing endorphins everytime that I saw him. To have him stripped away from me for so long, I feel as if he did die. I miss him very much! It's strange asking for help. The last time that I did ask for help was back in the sixth grade, when another kid threatened me with a gun at school. The teachers did nothing, as usual! After that, I stopped asking/looking for help. Life really is a gift. Some days it's a happy surprise, and others, it's a nasty gift, and all that you want is to return it for something better. And DyneWulf, your game is the best gift that I've had in a long time! So, Thanks Again!!! If I had money to give you, I would! 

Also DyneWulf, I did come up with a very funny scene, I hope that you don't mind if I tell you. Really, I would rather have drawn it, but my pen and tablet for drawing on the computer broke (the cord that goes into the tablet, came out, and some of the wires frayed). [SPOILER ALERT] When the MC and Harold take a shower together after their own extracurricular activity. When Harold lets/needs you to wash his tail, it would have been funny to have a close up of Harld's tail (maybe it looks like it's swishing) and the text box reads "Harold needs help washing his tail! How do you proceed?!?" And the three opitions are:  1.) Be gentle: His little bear/tail looks soft.   2.) Be rough: That bear needs a washing!   3.) GRAB THAT TAIL AND DANCE!!!  

When I tought of this picture in my head, it made me laugh for a whole day! Just the image of Harold's tail swishing  with the cursor hovering over opition 3 is what I had in mind to make and post here! But, I can't draw with computer mouse! If you want to add it into the story, by all means DyneWulf, please do so with my full support! I'm sure Capt. would get a kick/laugh out of this one! And if the player took opition 3, you could have some more opitions, Harold gets mad (who wouldn't?), Harold freaks out, Harold gets embarrassed, Harold laughs if you are singing (either someting made up or a song from the play), or Harold falls onto the MC and the MC says that he was not expecting that! But in truth, Harold would not like it. I am sorry DyneWulf, if you do not like my scene. I thought that you might get a laugh after reading my sad life's story. I hope that you don't take offence to my scene with Harold. I was cutting grass when it popped into my head. 

But again, many thanks!