This one's good!
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A time-loop horror story about a demonic possession handled by the reader. VERY nice!
The writing is pretty good, the characters make sense, the jokes were good, the lose of self-control of the main character was disturbing.
All in all, great execution!
Honestly, if this had a tiny bit of extra polishing and had custom music and art it would be perfect.
The premise of this story is pretty good
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A town seemingly stuck in time for decades, with barely any visitors and access to technology.
A mystery town which may or may not bend time, nice!
I particularly liked the start with its flowery style of writing and descriptions.
However, it felt weird to get this fancy speech from all the characters, and eventually it got a bit tiring.
The characters' reactions was also weird, like the public undressing first acted as normal and then as indecent.
Maybe that's part of the town's influence, like a supernatural effect
Overall, it was good read, and the premise is really interesting!
The way this story starts is pretty good, but feels rushed and incomplete by the end.
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The premise is good!
Someone finds pictures of a childhood friend, and reminisces of their friendship and falling off.
The writing in the first memory is the best part.
A story of two children who like doing things together. Their dialogue feels natural, and the pacing is good!
The last memory feels rushed, the way the children talk feels off.
For example, Victor mentioning a company by name and mentions an accident about it, and then drops it.
Then their argument feels like it comes too fast.
And then it just ends. Like I feel there was something intended to be added here, but it was cut.
So in general, the start is good, and the general idea of the story works. But I feel this suffered from the time limit.
I believe some extra polishing would improve the story
This was a short but interesting read.
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It starts with a backstory scene on abuse, and the rest of the story is a sexual scene which seems to address this backstory.
Brains are weird, and some fetishes come from trauma.
That's very interesting!
This feels like an exploration of this development, and honestly would've loved a longer and more thorough exploration of these characters' interaction and emotions.
In summary, a good premise that with deeper exploration and polishing would be enhanced!
This story is well written, and has a very good characterization of an awkward/shy main character. But it is very weird.
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It handles topics that would usually be heavy in a lighthearted and silly way, and everything gets solved with no effort.
I also have to accept that this is a weird reality where a whole lot of things are different.
Prison is basically a high-end hotel, people can travel in dragons, drugs have magical/physical effects, and apples are illegal.
Maybe everything is a metaphor.
Either way, if it had more time to cook and establish all this weirdness, and the conflict wasn't solved so easily and quickly, this prison break story would be enhanced, in my opinion
This story is (to my understanding) a prequel to a different story.
The origin of a new village which is close to an abandoned one with a disturbing past sounds really good!
The heavy use of advertisement to other stories got a chuckle out of me a couple of times, haha.
Also, the use of modified pictures to create a scene was honestly clever and beautiful.
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An issue for me is how everything is told to us.
The Main Character's backstory is narrated and the cast is also presented one after the other, but everything is told directly.
If this was presented in a more organic way, where we get to meet each character one at a time, and see how they interact between each other, it would help a lot with immersion and presentation.
This also happens with the abandoned Kirba village. We are only told about it, instead of it being presented as part of the story.
Maybe these things happened because of the time-limit, but in my opinion these points would enhance the story.
Overall, this has potential for a very good mystery or drama story
Oh boy, I did not understand this one.
If the point of this is being surreal, it works.
What the characters say feels off, the weight they put on things doesn't make sense.
The choices they give you seem to have a theme:
Go with what they tell you, or defy it.
Unfortunately the game is incomplete or bugged and you don't get very far after the choices, so I don't know if my reading of the theme is correct.
Maybe the point is that the choices don't matter.
Again, I did not get it.
The art is really good though, loved the character designs and the backgrounds!
This one is interesting!
The plot ideas are good, but it needs work on the execution.
I'll give you some notes if you want to take them
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A trans bear character, and a shapeshifting goo-thing with a mysterious past who get in a romantic/sexual relationship.
That sounds great!
However, the story is missing many points.
Why does the bear have the goo?
Where did he got it from?
Why does he have a lab-coat thingy if he works in retail?
Why does the goo know so many advanced concepts?
We barely know anything of the characters.
All these points don't need to be answered, but them being implied or having a plausible reason would help the story a lot.
Adding this information could also improve the pacing of the story.
Political issues are mentioned, but not really addressed.
It would have been better if these were only implied in this case.
Otherwise, it may be better to explain or imply why these political issues are issues, and why it creates a reaction.
The sexual scene is awkward as it doesn't fall in either a graphic or vague scene.
It can be made graphic by adding a lot of descriptions of touch, sensations, and movement.
It can be made vague by only mentioning that it happened, and the feeling it caused.
Both can be enhanced with a picture, but it is not necessary
