Hi, this game looks so good! I'd like to ask for some advice though: I have a Mac and when trying to run it with Wine, I get this error:
Failed to initialize graphics.
Make sure you have DirectX 11 installed, have up to date
drivers for your graphics card and have not disabled
3D acceleration in display settings.
InitializeEngineGraphics failed
I realize you didn't intend for this to be played by Wine, and I don't really expect a solution, but any advice would be appreciated!
All right. I'm not sure how this got so long, but once I started I felt I had to finish.
Page 1
- The cover you commissioned on the itch page is quite nice; you should put it in the document itself.
- The question under guildhall would be better phrased "Are you one of the guild leaders..."
- Ship: Instead of "you obtain a transport", it would be better phrased "your settlement functions as a transport of your choice..
Page 2
- The first sentence should be two sentences: "...with a total of 4 Building Slots. Settlements gain..."
- In that second sentence, it would be clearer to say "the first time any player reaches level 10,..."
- When describing Progress, you should mention that this is similar to the Projects in the core book, although not locked to the Tinkerer class.
Page 3
- The third sentence above the building options should be split into three sentences or a bullet point list: "The cost determines how much zenit and progress is required to complete the Building. The effect is an ability that can be accessed as long as you are in your settlement (or beyond it, in some cases). The specialized classes are classes that gain extra progress towards completing the Building during the construction phase. For example, a character with the Tinkerer class gives extra progress to building an Alchemy Lab."
- Barracks: Befriended adventurer would be better called "Mercenary"; a friend wouldn't charge for this service. It's not outside the spirit of the game; Final Fantasy 6 has Shadow.
- Since there are many adventurers here, maybe it would be better to have the players pick 4-6 NPC abilities and pay 100z for any one of them. You could say some guild regulation keeps the party from hiring multiple mercenaries. It should be clearer that this is not a whole NPC; the last sentence should say "... and make use of their special ability in conflicts".
- Castle could be clearer: "They never take part in Checks or conflicts, but once per session, the group..." In addition, the last sentence would be clearer if it said "any PC" instead of "you". Lastly, it should mention the price of IP; 10z per point.
Page 4
- Gamestore: the name should be two words, Game Store.
- The first sentence in Game Store could be clearer; "...can use the Resist Card item with the Inventory action.".
- The last sentence is missing a word. It should be : "If you are affected by an effect that destroys symbols..."
Page 5
- Graveyard: As with game store, the first sentence could be clearer; "...can use the Spirit Salts item with the Inventory action."
- Inn: The effect and the name feel a bit divorced. It would be better called Restaurant, Thrift Store, or Market, I think.
- Leylines are basically just the Inner Wellspring heroic skill. Instead of this, maybe after resting here, the Invoker could pick a wellspring here, then before the next rest, spend 10 MP to replace a wellspring in the scene with the chosen wellspring.
- Monster Sanctuary is nice, but being able to Spell Mimic even after a creature is downed is something that I (and I think other GMs) give to players already; they get to decide it's fate when its HP hits zero, and that can include asking it to do a spell for the Chimerist to watch. Instead, maybe it could be expanded to any non-Humanoid, soldier-rank creature, still with GM's discretion. That lets Chimerists learn spells from those species too, provided they come back to the sanctuary. This brushes up against Chimeric Mastery, so maybe it should also cost the player 20-50 zenit. You could ask "what do you offer each creature in exchange for their spells?".
- Post Office:
- The reward for delivering a parcel isn't great; a level 5 loremaster could get lucky on a roll and get three such questions. Maybe in addition to the story, the party makes some money from the deliveries; 100z seems enough.
- in the italicized questions, Mail should be singular, or else should be replaced with "parcels" or "letters". If you replace it, "comes and goes" should become "come and go".
- Scroll Scrivery: Scrivery is a great-sounding word, but the correct spelling is Scribery.
- In addition, I would change the ability. You can ask for a scroll of any spell you already know, then when you next cast it, it costs no MP (or half MP, that might be overpowered).
Page 7
- Theater: The first sentence would be clearer if it said "...a performance that they performed in here", to make it clearer that the PCs are performing.
- Travel Bureau: You should mention that this is redundant if the settlement has the Ship feature.
- Vehicle Workshop: if the Pilot can start Projects, this is basically a downgrade. Maybe it gives an additional Progress per day of effort.
Page 8
- In the second sentence, it would be clearer if you said "one of that item is available to buy here until purchased..."
- Lastly, I think you should give advice for damage or destruction to the Settlement. The GM should tell the players it's a possibility long beforehand, and whether benefits remain after will probably depend on circumstances.
I love these so much!!
I tried writing some more for the expansion classes. Maybe you could finish them up and make a v1.1? I've been sitting on the empty ones for months and I got nothing, but you seem really smart, I think you could do it! No pressure intended.
Necromancer:
I don't care what it takes; if ___ dies, I'm finding a way to bring them back.☀️
___ is refreshingly unconcerned about my art, even though others are.🌙
Ace of Cards:
I play against the others sometimes; ___ actually won once.☀️
___ thought my cards were childish; I'm proving them wrong.🌙
Chanter:
___ always tries to take part in my songs.☀️
I helped ___ hear a song they once loved again.🌙
Commander:
___ has come up with some good tactics; I'm impressed.☀️
War isn't good for anyone, but I hope ___ especially need never see all-out conflict.🌙
Dancer:
Symbolist:
___ creates... interesting challenges in the artistic process when I try to work with them.☀️
___ has great insights on works of art.🌙
Esper: [nothing]
Mutant:
[nothing]☀️
___ can almost make us forget about my mutations.🌙
Pilot: [nothing]
Floralist:
I'm glad they find them pretty, but I need ___ to keep their distance from my plants. ☀️
There's a certain plant that ___ seems to be particularly interested in...🌙
Gourmet:
I introduced ___ to their new favourite food!☀️
___'s help in cooking is particularly appreciated.🌙
Invoker:
I think if we try, I might be able to draw a Wellspring of [choose a fitting element] from ___:☀️
My art is rather rare and often mistaken for Elementalism; it was half-frustrating, half-satisfying to clear up all of ___'s questions.🌙
Merchant:
I'm grateful to ___; they help me with my least favourite part of running this business.☀️
___ helped me sell something that had been sitting in my inventory for longer than I can remember.🌙
