Yeah I know...It's not to everyone's taste and I did try to rewrite the whole story starting with an adult Mc but it was all the same, full of flashbacks of Mc as a child.
Still, I hope this doesn't weigh you down too much, I'm really trying to offer lots of choices so that the childhood experience isn't too horrible. Again I'm sorry that you dont like it.
It's true that there's a difference. Until now, Mc has been more passive, and now they're taking a more active role. They initiate a lot of choices. Yet I didn't feel I'd made them much more mature. It's a childish choice to want to go back to the camp, in the chaos when there's danger. Mc has a tantrum and Mickhail points it out. As for the lock-picking part, I thought Mc being so impress that they almost forgot their mission was a sign of their childish side...
Also, do you think Mc's vocabulary is too advanced?
Whatever it is in my mind. It's an act. Mc plays at being big and strong, mature, but they're going to fall apart eventually. Because yes, they are a child.
I hope you'll continue your journey with me, even if Mc seems to you a little out of character at the moment. π₯°
Hello ! I didn't really expect such a reception for Telio's character, many of you were disappointed that he wasn't a Ro, unfortunately this isn't a point that will change as it wouldn't make sense for his character.
However, having a crush on him will be addressed in Chapter 3.
I hope you find your other half among the other Ros. π₯°
You don't offend me. English not being my first language it was a certainty that there would be mistakes. I don't take beta players anymore since one of the ones I took turned out to be a pirate who made my work public before I was ready, unfortunately.
Maybe when I'm calmer about it again, but help is always appreciated. π
Do as you like. The Twine version is being reworked bit by bit, so you'll get even more novelty when you read it. For the moment I've only rewritten the prologue and the beginning of the 1st chapter. And I can't remember where dashingdon's version ends but I think there's an addition of maybe 40k on Twine's version.
