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The Martian is back with another instant classic that's so sweet it will rot your brain and tickle your soul. If you held a gun to my head and said I had to rate this game on a scale of one to ten, I'd tell you they need to invent a new scale of measurement for masterpieces like these, and unless you had one on hand you better shoot me. I was petting my dog while playing this game, and my dog turned into a sandwich, which was perfect for the bottle of Hellmann's Italian Herb & Garlic Mayonnaise Dressing that I ripped out of my now manly chest that formed as a result of the awesomeness of this game's clever writing. The character of Zac Jr. is an example of brilliant characterization and the moral of this story is one I think virgins everywhere will appreciate. The music is a feast for the ears, suitable for a game about candy and other treats.

Play this game if you haven't already, or my people will contact your people, and you'll know true fear.