i've lost a few friends that i held precious to me, in the past. while our friendship was only through online means, it felt heavy when i knew they just didn't exist anymore. i was too young to take that too. i didn't think that it affected me much, but maybe it did. bit by bit. it was 2 years ago when my mental health got really bad. i would hurt myself, my mind was filled with the thought of ending it all, and there were a few times i almost tried. but i never got to it, due to a few reasons. and i'm glad i never did. i'm grateful to my friends for keeping me alive without even knowing.
games like these remind me of those times, in a bitter-sweet way. i feel bad when i'm reminded of the friends i've lost. but i also feel proud of myself for coming this far.
it's never worth it. i learned that even through pain and misery, life is just worth so much than those ugly thoughts, or making them come true.
to those who have also struggled with similar things in the past; i'm proud of you, just as much as i'm proud of myself. we fought and did our best. in the end, we won a great war. there was no smaller nor bigger problems. the problem was there, and we managed to get through it.
to those who are still suffering; i cannot know what you're going through. but one thing i know for sure is that it's always worth fighting for the better. so, please. don't stop fighting.