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Anyone who got here not from the jam

The design criteria are:
  • This is frustrating, I had to redo lots of content.
  • I do not feel like the game is being fair.
  • It is not very clear what I have to do.
  • The graphics are, to be honest, ugly in this one.
  • My ears have broken from the bad quality of sounds.
  • There are many bugs which do not feel like features.
  • My wallet is empty after I played this free game.
  • My soul has been taken away on an unexpected journey.
  • I went in with low expectations and was disappointed anyway.
  • This tenth criteria is here for padding, I hate it.

So I guess purpose served. I cant read the illegible instructions and i cant get off the first platform because my control ends up panning the camera with no noted way to get back.