I'm still very early into the (revamp) game but I needed to pop on to say... This is really great. The writing/plot in particular. You've got a really great style that is thoughtful, funny, and engaging. I'll be back when I've played a little more.
I just finished what you've got in the revamp, and obviously it's so good that I'll play thru the original too while awaiting what comes next. I went to art school and had to participate in a bunch of critiques so I hope it's okay to view through that kinda lens for this instead of just saying that it's hot (it is, though).
The story like I said is really engaging to the point that I had to force myself to go to bed instead of just getting through it in one sitting. Whoever is writing this (I'm guessing the person replying but otherwise feel free to pass this on) has a real gift for plunging readers right into those environments-- specifically, being 18/19, out on your own for the first time, and trying to figure yourself out.
The nervousness and anxiety and pining from Zack is so visceral, it feels like you're going through exactly what he is. Actually, the nervousness from both of them is really well done (being an anxious mess I can relate to the point that I started getting nervous on their behalf hahaha).
The build up is so, SO, SO good. As it should be. It feels so delicate and lovely and comforting. Like, yes there's some uneasiness on Zack's end about ~falling for the straight guy~ but because the characters are so relatable and clearly enjoy each other's company, it's not something that feels like it'll inevitably go tits up (whether it does or not, not being the issue), if that makes sense.
And, yeah, okay, it's HOT. Sexy. Effortlessly. In the way that things are when you're young and aren't fully comfortable with yourself yet and everything is new.
And like can I just say it's nice to have characters with dark eyes. I think it's one of if not the only game I've played, so far, where the characters have lovely dark eyes instead of everyone having blue/grey/sometimes green.
heya, sorry i'm slow to respond. had some irl stuff that pulled me away from answering. I appreciate the artistic and serious assessment of the story. I will warn you that going from the revamp back to the original may be sorta jarring. However, since you'd be starting at chapter 5 on the original, it may be a little easier. just know that the original game progressively looks better as i learned how to do things and the financial support allowed me to upgrade my hardware to make more detailed environments and visuals. There's also no sound in the original because i couldn't afford a soundtrack yet. I was literally learning how to use these programs in real time with each game update.
in terms of the writing and stuff, that's me. i do a majority of the work on the project including the writing and visuals. i have 2 other guys that help me when i get stuck or help polish out some of the errors and stuff but it's about 95% solo. if you go back and play the original, you'll see i was a bit more cautious since i've never really written anything but college research papers. as the game progressed and i just got more cheers from the supporters, i slowly just got more and more confident with the writing. i think the writing in the revamp is a testament to that growth and i'm happy with it so far for a first timer :)
There's definitely a lot of growth between the original and revamp, in terms of writing and everything else.
However! Honestly, going from the revamp to original is not as jarring as you might think. The writing was already good and although there are some rough spots with the visuals, it was still enough to keep me stuck in my seat (think I finished it over two days lmao) because the writing in this one really carries the story (where others might be less story focused and definitely less focused on the inner lives of the characters).
I'm trying to pick my favourite parts and I keep coming back to the way you're able to describe Zack's anxiety. The way he kinda shuts down and retreats into himself and has to really think about things when people speak to him is eerily similar to my experience, so makes sense I would relate.
Braden is such a uniquely sweet (I can't think of another word for him) character, I'm not sure I've ever read or encountered anything like him in any other media. Which is special. Not to say the protag isn't a great character as well, but considering he falls for Braden, it makes sense that we would also kind of fall in love with him through his eyes.
Okay I think I'm done now haha.
EDIT: Forgot to say I adore the ending and when we pan over to see Braden sitting across from him with that lil expression I almost died and it reminded me of a detail I hadn't flailed over enough... in the revamp, Braden sometimes sleeps curled up on his side but with his arms curled into his chest like a little kitty-cat and let's just say.. cutest shit ever.