This was a great little parody of the genre, and a good tie-in with the jam theme! Aside from being far too silly, the story was pretty compelling, and there were really great little moments of gold hidden in there (muffin man somehow managed to give me chills?). Once the story actually got going, the cringe factor faded substantially, so I really think the only thing that needs a bit of a re-write is the 'narrator' intro sequence.
On this note, I think it's important to be aware of writing for voice, or writing for reading. As an example, I think the Stanley Parable would be overwhelmingly cringey if it was text-based. The delivery of a voice actor can do a lot to make something into really good comedic writing, where otherwise it would fall flat. So that said, I think the formal limitations got in the way of what might actually be a good bit of comedy if it were executed differently. But that's the way of a jam! There are still a few straggling language errors as well, which could do with some careful revision, but again; jam limitations. Overall I'm impressed with result under the circumstances.
I was also really amazed by how well the background music integration worked. It was a cheap trick, but it fit in well with the tongue-in-cheek vibe of the whole thing, and I found myself much more engrossed in the story when it had musical accompaniment.