Hey team!
I'm so sorry for the late feedback!
Some things to consider:
- When working on a video game, I would never suggest requiring people to write down information outside of the game. A lot of people might miss this or just get frustrated and decide not to play. What happens if someone loses their notes?! I would suggest creating some sort of UI menu where clues go once you discover them. That way players can easily access their information from inside of the game.
- I love the music and the voiceovers. I think they add a great ambience to the game. However, you have a lot of screens that are just jam-packed with information. The average video game player will only read about 8 words before losing interest, so I would highly suggest breaking up your narrative dumps into smaller pieces. Make it so people can scroll back and forth it you are concerned about players missing content, but definitely try and cut down on those massive black screens filled with text.
- Going off of the last point, consider timing and viewer engagement as well. I let the audio scroll while I wrote the notes above, and the introductory voiceover was still going by the time I went back to the game. Cutting these narrative dumps would be very beneficial, but also consider how you are going to keep the player's attention. Maybe consider adding some cutscenes or some images of Dave and the town!
- I would never suggest using a pixel font in a game for accessibility reasons, but if you're going to do so, just make sure that everything is clearly legible!
- The game itself is pretty unpolished with little art or design. Consider adding some art and level design so that you can turn your game into a portfolio piece.
Overall, great job on your completing the jam!