When it comes to improving the writing, the biggest thing that I hope is changed is having the characters referred to as "he" instead of "she." It may be a small change, but having the otokonoko referred to as "she" has a decent impact on the feel of the game, considering what genre the game is. I feel like referring to the characters as "he" would be a lot more in-line with the game and its fanbase. I could be wrong though.