I think the English translation has a bug where you can't get the last death. Once you've finished talking to the Candy Candy boy and need to get another candle outside the home, the door to the outside where you should be killed by the mutant? from the door doesn't trigger.
Also, there's some dialogue in the bonus room that wasn't translated and the English translation itself needs a bit of work. I believe I understood everything and therefore I don't think this is a huge issue but it does sometimes feel odd to read. If you translated this yourself then props to you for competently managing the translation since I assume Thai is your first language but having someone to check it and add amendments may help.
Other than that, I believe this is an amazing game. Since there's not much gameplay, the dialogue had to do the heavy lifting and you accomplished that. The bond between Grace and the Candy Candy boy was given enough time to develop properly so the ending is satisfying and I like how the multiple dialogue options don't just function to give deaths but also reveal different information about the characters, making the game more replayable if you want to know everything. Each choice therefore feels meaningful and intentional.
The art itself is nicely done. Candy Candy boy's design is unique and instantly drew me to the game when I saw it and the use of moving assets for the jump scares, wiping Grace's tears and blindfolding her add an extra layer to the experience.
Finally, I did like the sort of side story you had that gave background information on the world through the news articles. It seems inspired by a lot of current events that have happened in recent years and it was the cherry on top to the exploration of the house that kept things even more interesting.
All in all, it's a really cool game and succeeds in what it set out to do.