Thank you. When I'm lying in bed unable to fall asleep, being able to see a reply like this really moves me.
This is the first time someone has earnestly played through my game completely and told me their feelings, telling me it resonated. This game incorporates too many of my personal characteristics, I never dared to hope there would be someone who could resonate with it.
You said this is a sad story, but it's not. I like sad storylines, but I definitely don't like sad endings. I gave the MC unparalleled abilities, precisely because I hoped he could give everyone a beautiful future.
Beira was treated that way because it could help her grow. She is someone who "would hurt others just by wanting a hug," so she rarely tells others her needs and desires. And her mother thought she had satisfied Beira already, which is why Beira never says anything.
The way MC treated her was precisely because he could see this point. If Beira hoped MC would stay, hoped she could see MC again, she should directly speak her desires, and even actively look for him.
Beira relies heavily on MC now, because MC is the first and only person who could see what she wanted even if she didn't say anything. But maintaining this kind of relationship is clearly unhealthy. She needs an opportunity to grow up, and MC's coldness serves that purpose.
I'm telling you this because likely there won't be any updates for quite a long time.
During this time, I've received a lot of encouragement, telling me not to give up, and I've also been making a lot of effort. But I have to face reality, I have to survive in order to do the things I want to do.
Ever since I published "Some Thoughts," I thought that as long as I tried hard for a period of time, things would get better. But after investigating for a while, plus the release of v0.55, I feel despair.
Not only is willingness-to-pay low, but my followers, views, and free Patreon members are also far below average levels. In other words, there aren't many people who care what I'm doing, nor will they care about future developments.
It's not just real-world problems, but also immense distress mentally. I'm too proud—when I see many games easily surpassing mine, I feel very anxious. Of course I know there are many problems with this game, but I can no longer modify them. For example, one nearly fatal flaw is the severe lack of adult scenes. I created this kind of MC, plus a bunch of unusual characters, it's really difficult for me to make adult scenes. I couldn't even get the MC to be more interactive and intimate with the characters because of his personality.
I did say that I've read a lot of hentai manga, and that's true. And that's also why making vanilla scenes is so painful for me, yes, painful. But for many of the characters in this game, I can only make vanilla scenes. I definitely wouldn't want to see characters like Aisha, Bella, Doris, etc. show a ahegao.
What's more, I'm too tired. I have to think for a very, very long time about every storyline. In v0.6, Hirika's event 2, a storyline of less than 100 sentences, I wrote and revised for over 10 hours, a full 3 days where all I did was come up with this one storyline. My original intention with using the sandbox format was that there were many storylines I didn't actually have figured out. I could only slowly supplement them bit by bit with inspiration. I can't create a coherent story. Much of the content is just making whatever comes to mind.
I know that the situation today ultimately stems from my inability to create content satisfactory to more people. For this, I need time.
Making a less complicated game is the best choice I have now. If I succeed this time, perhaps I can come back and continue creating this story. By then, I won't face such practical pressures, plus I will have grown a lot, gaining the ability and time to create an even better story.
Finally, even if I wanted to turn back now, I wouldn't be able to, because the new storylines I've conceived have completely captured all of my attention. Perhaps after being suppressed for too long, the idea of creating an MC with a totally different personality is too appealing to me. I need him to release everything I've endured. My mind is full of the new game now.
Thank you for your reply. We will see each other again soon.